Good evening,
I’m asking some help to improve my english.
I’m preparing my first certificate in english of cambridge.
I wrote a text with the first sentence given.
I’d be so glad if someone help me.
Thank you
As soon as Roy opened the door, he knew something was wrong. Already when had arrived, he had noticed a smell of petrol which was coming through the flat.
Quietly, he stood in the entrance. His wife Rebecca was putting petrol on the wall with a can. At the moment she saw him, she stopped and glared at him. After a short moment of silence she held a match as she ordered him to tell the truth.
Immediately he understood what she meant. Roy knew she had married a clever woman. She wasn’t joking. Moreover he hadn’t done too much not to be discovered. He had been on a love affair with their au pair for three months. Consequently he confesses and added that it wasn’t serious. He hadn’t loved her.
Hearing theses words, Anna became crazy and shouted she hadn’t known his unfaith. She was disgusting with the possibility that a man could love a girl of twice his age.
In a last movement, she scratched the fire and made their lovely home disappeared with them.
Already when had arrived, = verb has no subject
had arrived, he had noticed = wrong verb tenses
comma needed after "moment of silence"
Roy knew she had married a clever woman = wrong pronoun used
He had been on a love affair = wrong preposition used
he confesses and added = verb tense problem
Hearing theses words = spelling error in here
hadn’t known his unfaith. She was disgusting with the possibility that a man could love a girl of twice his age = at least 3 word choice errors here
In a last movement, she scratched the fire and made their lovely home disappeared with them. = 4 or 5 errors here (word choice and verb tense)