Posted by Danielle on Tuesday, April 5, 2011 at 4:09pm.
My instructions are to type 200 to 225 words of a short presentation on a topic of my choosing.
I was wondering if you could please check my grammar and sentence structure in this Informative Essay.
Breathing is something most of us take for granted; we’ve been doing it since we were infants. However, the simple act of breathing can be a challenge for some people. There are illnesses that affect the body’s ability to appropriately breathe. When the body’s airflow is impaired due to emphysema and chronic bronchitis, a person is said to have COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease).
Signs and symptoms of COPD include the following:
o Shortness of breath
o Chest tightness
o Chronic cough
Generally symptoms of COPD don’t occur until significant lung damage takes place.
COPD is customarily caused by persisting exposure to airborne irritants, such as:
o Tobacco smoke
o Chemical fumes
o Air pollution
o Stop all smoking
It is crucial for a smoker with COPD to stop smoking. It is the only way to keep COPD from worsening
o Inhaled steroids
o Surgery (surgery is an option for people who don’t respond to medications alone)
COPD is the fourth leading cause of death in the United States. More than 12 million people currently are diagnosed with COPD. Because COPD develops slowly, some people may not even know they have the disease. COPD has no cure and damage to the airways and lungs cannot be reversed. However, changes in lifestyle can help to better a person and slow the process of the disease; therefore, gaining a more active life.
- English - Writeacher, Tuesday, April 5, 2011 at 4:15pm
... that affect the body’s ability to breathe. When the body’s airflow is impaired because of emphysema and chronic bronchitis ...
... changes in lifestyle can help to better a person and slow the process of the disease, therefore, gaining a more active life.
Notice that I deleted "appropriately" in the first paragraph and changed the semicolon to a comma in the second.
This doesn't read like a real essay, though. It seems to have an introduction, a conclusion, and four lists. If this is what your teacher wants, that's fine, but it's really not an essay.
- English - Danielle, Tuesday, April 5, 2011 at 4:25pm
Thank you so much! It's a short presentation. I have to do a couple of power point slides with it as well. The instructions my teacher gave me were very vague. I have asked for help and she basically said do it on whatever you want and do whatever type of document you want. So, here I am with a paper on COPD.
- English - Writeacher, Tuesday, April 5, 2011 at 5:28pm
Well, I have to say, if you have to do a visual presentation, too, it's a good idea to have the bulleted lists. Easier to organize those slides that way, for sure.
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