As long as the beginning of your intro (making the thesis the last sentence in your intro) logically leads up to this, yes. Be sure to include the titles and authors early in the intro.
If you need more help, please be sure to post your outline so I (or someone else here) can see where you're going with this.
This is my intro with the thesis as the last sentence. We had to use a secondary source so I stated that in the intro as well.
In the short story “Where are you going, where have you been?” by Joyce Carol Oates, Connie, one of the main characters, is a fifteen year old girl who is consumed with her good looks as well as receiving attention from boys. Connie is on her summer vacation and spends her time going places with her friends. Her flirty behavior seems harmless at first but in the end it is what puts Connie in danger. Arnold Friend, a strange human being, arrives at Connie’s house one Sunday to take her for a ride. Connie does now know Friend but he knows everything about her. Friend insists that Connie is his lover and that she needs to be with him. Connie tries to make Friend leave but his threatening behavior finally makes Connie go for a ride with him. The movie “Smooth Talk” directed by Joyce Chopra, brings Oates’s short story to life. The movie is similar to the story in many ways but it also has many differences. Both of these works are analyzed by Peter Dickinson in the article “Riding in cars with boys: Reconsidering ‘Smooth Talk’”. Although the movie and the story are similar, they are drastically different in their endings and titles.
Your intro is too long and has too much detail of the story in it. Study these for how to write an introduction:
Given what happens in that story, you should have no problem coming up with an attention-grabber!
Ok thank you
If you want to post your thesis and outline (not the intro) before you start your rough draft, please feel free to do so.