Homework Help: writing

Posted by jacqui on Wednesday, March 30, 2011 at 11:17am.

please tell me if this sounds ok.

I am responding to the advertisement posted on your website. I understand you are looking to hire a Medical Coding and Billing Specialist at your Voorhees location. I worked as a Repricing Coordinator for almost four years at Insurance Administrators of America (IAA). My responsibilities included: repricing medical claims, faxing, speaking with clients, and ensuring all codes were properly documented prior to submitting to insurance companies. This opportunity has inspired me to further my education in the medical field. Presently, I am attending school to become a certified Medical Coding and Billing Professional.
My strong attributes are dedication, loyalty, dependability, and a willingness to work in a fast paced industry. I am confident I will be a asset to your department at Virtua Health Hospital.

writing - Writeacher, Wednesday, March 30, 2011 at 11:24am
The first two sentences are wordy. How can you rewrite these, getting rid of extraneous words and converting them into one sentence?

Delete the colon (:) after "included" -- there should not be colons used after verbs.

Everything else looks fine.

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