Can you check to see if this looks and sounds better please?

Dear Jordyn,

I am thrilled you’re moving back to town and looking for a job. My boss, Mrs. Cartucci, is seeking a personal assistant to help manage the sales department at JR’s Fashions. The skills required for the position are these: communicating well, scheduling appointments, ordering, and organizing the inventory, and occasionally running errands. Working in a trendy department store has given you an eye for fashion, as well as how to deal with people. You’re organized, dependable, friendly, and have a positive attitude. As a person with these traits, Mrs. Cartucci would consider you an asset
to JR’s Fashions. Professionally, this job also offers plenty of opportunities for advancement. Therefore, I hope you consider applying for the position.

I read over your original and my response, and I think I misread something. Anyway, here's a corrected section:

ordering and organizing the inventory, and occasionally running errands.

Also, the parallel structure problem hasn't been corrected. Notice:
organized, dependable, friendly, and have a positive attitude.
Here you have 3 adjectives and a verb phrase. You need to make all 4 parts of the series into verb phrases or make all of them adjectives. How will you redo this?

Everything else looks good.

lack of parallel structure still.

You are organized, dependable, friendly, and positive.

Other than that, it is OK.

im having problems with the lack parallel structure. but here we go again. Thanks.

Dear Jordyn,

I am thrilled you’re moving back to town and looking for a job. My boss, Mrs. Cartucci, is seeking a personal assistant to help manage the sales department at JR’s Fashions. The skills required for the position are these: communicating well, scheduling appointments, ordering, and organizing the inventory, and occasionally running errands. Working in a trendy department store has given you an eye for fashion, as well as how to deal with people. You are organized, dependable, friendly, and positive. As a person with these traits, Mrs. Cartucci would consider you an asset
to JR’s Fashions. Professionally, this job also offers plenty of opportunities for advancement. Therefore, I hope you consider applying for the position.

Delete the comma here: "ordering, and organizing"

Right: "organized, dependable, friendly, and positive." NOW the series has parallel elements.

Nice. =)

Dear Jordyn,

I am excited to hear that you will be moving back to town and are in search of a job. I want to inform you that my boss, Mrs. Cartucci, is currently looking for a personal assistant to assist in managing the sales department at JR's Fashions. The position requires several skills, such as strong communication abilities, proficiency in scheduling appointments, knowledge of inventory management and organization, as well as the occasional running of errands. Given your experience working in a trendy department store, you have developed an eye for fashion and have become adept at dealing with people. Additionally, your organizational skills, dependability, friendly nature, and positive attitude make you an ideal candidate for this position. Mrs. Cartucci considers individuals with these qualities to be valuable assets to JR's Fashions. This job also presents ample opportunities for professional advancement. Therefore, I highly recommend that you consider applying for this position.