posted by Joven on .
Every sentence in the paragraph below violates some principle of good persuasive writing. Revise the paragraph, following the directions at the end of each sentence; use your imagination where necessary. Type the revised paragraph in the text box provided below. CAUTION: BEFORE BEGINNING WORK, READ THE PARAGRAPH AND DIRECTIONS
The Honors Association in this school is all eggheads; they should do something practical for a change. (Eliminate the stereotype and state your opinion more reasonably.) Specifically, I recommend they buy the football team jackets each year. (Come up with a more appealing project for this audience.) This would meet a real need in our school. (Be more specific in this background statement.) The other clubs around here all do something. (Introduce a limiting word; give one or two specific examples to prove this fact.) The most important reason is that the members of the association claim that service to the school is one of their goals. (If it is so important, move this sentence and the next one to just before the call to action.) If they can't buy those jackets, they should just disband. (Include the project you used above; modify the either-or-approach.) Nonmembers think the association should be more active. (Use a transition to introduce this idea; add a limiting word; add authoritative opinion --perhaps from the officer of another club.) The faculty thinks the association should be more active. (Use a transition; add a limiting word; add authoritative opinion.) That is all I have to say. (Replace this with a forceful call to action.)