I think I fixed everything.

Technology, Technology, that's all we use to communicate today. There's Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, and so many more. Technology is very distracting and this causes many kids to fail and fall behind in school and grades. I agree with the writer of the Scope magazine article "Is Technology Messing with Your Brain?" When he says that kids are spending more time with their gadgets than with their friends. Kids are also spending more time with their electronics than with their homework. Finally, kids can't concentrate or remember anything because their brain is multitasking with all of this technology. For example, you’ll be trying to do your homework and then your friend sends you a message that’s very important. What do you do? You try to read the message and try to do your homework, knowing you can’t multitask.The most important point is that kids are using technology and distracting their minds off important things that matter. School work should come first and then playing should come later. Many parents agree with me. We need to get these intelligent kids cracking these books, and learning. If you do not do this your future would go down the drain.

Doesn't technology also include the research you do on the internet? Doesn't it include the help you've gotten from Jiskha? Doesn't it include word processing? Doesn't include cell phones? Doesn't it include scanners used in stores? Doesn't it include GPS? Doesn't it include medical devices and record keeping? Doesn't it include weather monitoring?

I'm a senior citizen and use technology -- but it hasn't messed with my brain. Oh -- I guess it has. I don't have to remember as much as I used to. I just look up stray facts on Google.

Your use of "technology" in this essay is really narrow.

It seems like you're expressing concern about the impact of technology on children's education and their ability to concentrate and remember information. Many people share this concern, as the use of technology can indeed be distracting and affect academic performance. Understanding the balance between technology and other important activities is crucial.

To better support your argument, you could consider providing evidence or statistics that illustrate the negative effects of excessive technology use on academic performance. This could include studies on the correlation between screen time and academic achievement or surveys about students' time allocation between technology use and homework. This evidence would strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.

Additionally, you could talk about potential solutions to mitigate the negative impact of technology. Encouraging parents to set limits on screen time, promoting the importance of creating a dedicated study environment, and emphasizing the benefits of offline activities and face-to-face interactions can help children strike a healthy balance between technology use and schoolwork.

Remember, it is important to present your arguments effectively and respectfully to engage your audience and encourage thoughtful consideration of the issue.