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So first off i want to say writing essays are not in my strengths. so i was wondering if someone could read my intro paragraph and critic it. and im suppose to have a thesis statement and iim not sure if i do...?

here is the topiic im writing on.

The lost generation:
Explain what it means to be lost in this context and analyze how at least three of the characters in the novel (the great gatsby) are representative of the lost generation of the 1920's and 1930's in america.

here is my intro:

It is July 28th 1914, the day that changed the prospect of the world. Young men, amid high feelings of exhilaration and purpose, are being drafted from all across America, into what will be known as World War I. Many famous artists such as Gertrude Stein, Ernest Hemingway, and Ezra Pound were of these young men and seemed certain they could find success in the heart of America. But, after World War I ended these artists were on edge about what America could offer. America now as a nation was unsure what virtues remained true. They were lost. In the book The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald, he uses his characters Gatsby, Tom, and Nick as representations of this lost generation. For them, the road of life has brought them to an ambivalent state.

  • English - ,

    There's no way to gauge if the intro or thesis is any good without reading the rest of the paper.

    Follow the writing process, whether you're writing for science, history, English, or whatever:

    Prewriting: Brainstorm, research, plan, outline, thesis statement

    Writing: Write first draft by starting with section II of your outline; write the introduction after the body of the paper is written; write the conclusion last.

    Polishing: Revise, concentrating first on the body of the paper, then the intro, then the concl (revision = making sure ideas are logical and sequential and support your thesis); proofread (spelling, grammar, usage, etc.)

    Do you have a thesis yet? Have you done your brainstorming (and maybe research) yet? Have you written an outline?

    http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/catalogue.html#org
    from http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/catalogue.html

    http://www.angelfire.com/wi/writingprocess/

    http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/
    Check in the Essay & Research Paper Level.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    THESIS STATEMENT:
    Your thesis statement must include factual information plus your position/opinion/stance. Without your position on the topic, it isn't a true thesis statement. So think of this sentence as the angle you want to take on the topic and what you intend to prove by the end of your paper. (If your statement is simply factual, then there's nothing to prove!)

    http://blog.eduify.com/index.php/2009/06/21/5-tips-on-how-to-write-a-strong-thesis-statement/
    Read carefully and follow ALL directions.

    http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/thesistatement.html
    This is one of the very best places I've seen online to help students write good thesis statements. It shows you sentences that aren't thesis statements and how to turn each one into real thesis statements.

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