Posted by Sumaiya on Friday, March 4, 2011 at 5:59pm.
Can you check the essay below for any mistakes that can be fixed:
“He who does not have the courage to speak up for his rights cannot earn the respect of others.” ~Rene G. Torres
In the story “It Doesn’t Come Naturally”, by Danielle Compere, Danielle faces many hardships throughout the story. The story was during the time period of segregation. Danielle had never experienced anything like this before her dreams were shattered. One day her younger brother was insulted on his birthday. Danielle’s young brother was insulted because of his skin color. Not only does Danielle’s young brother experience something in the story, but so does Danielle. I think that “People should not always keep their mouth shut, they just need justice.” One reason is because people will not be there for your security when you fall. Secondly, if you always speak for yourself, you won’t be left asking yourself “Why did I let him go?” Finally, many changes occur to people and experiences make a person stronger. This is why I say that “People should not always keep their mouth shut, they just need justice.”
One reason people should not always keep their mouth shut, they just need justice because people will not be there for your security when you fall. I determine this because in the story, “It Doesn’t Come Naturally” when Danielle’s young brother had gotten insulted, Danielle had gained his respect back. This occurred when the family had gone to a game and Danielle had found Matt, the kid that beaten up his younger brother by his harsh words. Danielle saw Matt, whose eyes were filled with fear, while her eyes were lit like fire. As you can see, Danielle was there for her young brother and picked him up when he had fallen both emotionally and mentally. Therefore, this is why I say that people should not always keep their mouth shut; they just need justice because people will not be there for your security when you fall.
Additional reason people should not constantly keep their mouth shut, they just need justice because if you constantly speak for yourself, you won’t be left asking yourself “Why did I let him go?” I notice this because in the story when Danielle’s young brother had entered inside the car, his mom asked, “How was the practice?”, as she handed him his ice-cold bottle. He looked at his feet and then beck at his family, and said, “It was alright, but I got in a fight.” Danielle’s young brother hadn’t spoken for himself, which will make him more of a weak person. So, this is why if you always speak for yourself, you won’t be left asking yourself “Why did I let him go?”
Finally, I say people should not keep their mouth shut always; sometimes they would just need justice because many changes occur to people and experiences make a person stronger. I had seen in the story “It Doesn’t Come Naturally”, when Danielle had wanted to gain his brother’s respect; she did not come up to him and didn’t crush him with racial slurs. Danielle used her facial expressions to make him feel that his lesson was taught. I say this because in the story it said that “We stared at each other as if everyone else had disappeared. I wondered if I should keep walking. I did not want to lose my temper, so I walked right pass him. This ignorant child is not going to let me lose my dignity. I did not turn back. I became a new person. I would not forget him; he was not worth my time. He cannot be blamed for his ignorance. His racism was taught.” As you can see why, I say that many changes occur to people and experiences make a person stronger.
In conclusion, the lesson I learned in the story “It Doesn’t Come Naturally” by Danielle Compere is that “People should not constantly keep their mouth shut always, they just need justice.” One reason is because people don’t bail on you when you fall; they are constantly there to pick you up. Another reason is because if you always speak for yourself, you won’t be left asking to yourself “Why did I let him go?” Finally, many changes occur to people and experiences make a person stronger.
- ELA - SraJMcGin, Friday, March 4, 2011 at 7:42pm
twice you need to put a semicolon where you have a period because there are two distinct sentences.
gain his brother’s respect;= her brother's
here's another run-on: mouth shut always, they just need justice.” = always; they just
left asking to yourself “ left asking yourself
this would be much better if you had less repetition. Were you trying to increase the number of words?
Sra
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