Thursday
August 21, 2014

Homework Help: English

Posted by Shivi on Thursday, February 17, 2011 at 6:05am.

"Write a creative description of a journey you have taken. Focus on the means of transportation and the nuances in particular to that way of travel. Select 10 words from the speeling list to use in your piece of writing and write in the space provided on the answer sheet."

The words are: destination, exist, forage, larva, surface, density, peer, presence, vessels, meander, distracted, heaving, adequate, fastened, catastrophe.

Hi there, can you please have a look at my work, suggest some ideas of how i can cont. this story, paraphrase some parts perhaps and also point out the mistakes i have made.

I can feel me cheeks, collarbone and face hard against the coarse surface. It felt muggy, cold and very uncomfortable. I'm not sure when I dozed off but i have terrible body aches everywhere like someone had crushed me against a wall.

My body immediately detected the presence of cold as the blanket of warmth flew off my body, leaving my body exposed and non-existant.

Already I could tell,without taking glances, that my cheeks have turned a deathly white with pink-crimson grazes on it.

A whole heap of water spews all over the shore or the uncertain destination that I have reached. I can feel a big wave coming in, chopping and splashing aginst the rocks.

I try to stand but my legs crumble and fall to the ground.

I can feel the air trying to meander through my airways. I get distracted as thoughts come into my mind, Could this be my last day?! No! This is just a catastrophic nightmare.

It's just a dream,I say to myself. I've got a life to live on. It has to be, because there were so many things i wanted to tell her.



I think there's some issues with the sentence structure but i don't know where to continue form this point!!

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