posted by Meredith on .
Is this a decent thesis statement or is it too long?
The imbalance in racial diversity in the field of pharmacy brings a need for more in-depth cultural competency training programs in colleges of pharmacy so they can better understand, relate, and provide appropriate health care service to their patients.
It isn't too long. It just doesn't seem like a good thesis to me. I don't see any opinion of YOURS in there. As it is, it's factual -- who would argue with the statement?
Did you truly read and study the information and examples in the two links I gave you earlier?
Actually I did I'm just having a hard time coming up with a thesis. Everything seems to be a fact.
One thing you need to do is to define "imbalance in racial diversity."
What does this term/phrase mean?
What would it mean to have balance in racial diversity?
What would you suggest as to how to achieve that?
And why would it be important?
There is no "YOU" in your statement so far. There is nothing there to indicate what YOU believe.