Posted by Meredith on Saturday, January 29, 2011 at 7:31pm.
It isn't too long. It just doesn't seem like a good thesis to me. I don't see any opinion of YOURS in there. As it is, it's factual -- who would argue with the statement?
Did you truly read and study the information and examples in the two links I gave you earlier?
http://www.jiskha.com/display.cgi?id=1296337918
Actually I did I'm just having a hard time coming up with a thesis. Everything seems to be a fact.
One thing you need to do is to define "imbalance in racial diversity."
What does this term/phrase mean?
What would it mean to have balance in racial diversity?
What would you suggest as to how to achieve that?
And why would it be important?
There is no "YOU" in your statement so far. There is nothing there to indicate what YOU believe.
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