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Posted by on Wednesday, January 26, 2011 at 1:54am.

I am writing a composition for class and need someone to peer edit. No one around knows spanish so I am hoping someone here would be willing to look over it :)
Thank you!

Por primera, tú necesitas cambiar los hábitos. Si tú trabajas mucho para tener una buena dieta, va a hacer mas feliz también. Es tan difícil para mantener una vida saludable. Es esencial que no comas comida basura y hacer ejercicios todos los dias. Recomiendo hacer bicicleta o hacer cinta. Es importante que estires y hacer flexiones antes de los ejercicios. Aunque, si tú haces solo cuando tú tienes extra tiempo, no hacer progressivo.
Tambien, es importante que no comas las comidas malas en este procesa porque es esencial para tener un peso apropiado y mantener una vida mas saludable en general. Sugiero que no compres las comidas basuras y quitar los en tú casa. Es malo que tengas las comidas porque quieres comer. Aunque todo es muy difícil, tú necesitas hacer porque cuando tú vivas una vida apropriada y activa, tú tienes mas energía y tienes un buen humor. Ojala que tengas éxito.

  • Espanol III - , Wednesday, January 26, 2011 at 8:49am

    su español es perfecto!!!!!

  • Espanol III - , Wednesday, January 26, 2011 at 11:20am

    Diana gave you your peer edit. Now here it comes from a Spanish teacher:

    Sorry, not perfect. Learn to make accent marks with the computer. If you don't know how, let us know if you have a PC (more difficult) or a MAC (a "snap") but if a word requires an accent mark, it MUST be there or the word is wrong. Especially in Spanish III, you need to show that you KNOW where they go, if you happen to be headed for an AP or IB exam, which I hope you are!

    POr primera = por primera vez OR Primero

    fake friend = los hábitos are outfits/clothes/costumes but "habits" are las costumbres

    You began in the familiar (tú) so you must be consistent = not va a but vas a hacerte más feliz (you will make yourself happier. (Sometimes if you don't give me the English of what you are trying to say, I could give you the wrong thing; just guessing what you want here.)

    Es tan difícil mantener

    "junk food?" a noun can NOT modify a noun so t's closer to say "comida de basura = I wouldn't even try but simplify = mala comida OR comida insaludable

    y hacer = y que hagas (you set it up to require the Subjunctive)
    ride a bike? = andar en bicicleta +???what are you trying to say with "hacer cinta?"

    Es importante also requires the Subjunctive so y ou can't get away with "y hacer" y que hagas

    Now I definitely need to help because I can not figure out what you want with "si tú haces solo cuando tú tienes extra tiempo, etc. and progresivo has one "s"

    También (you got the accent up above but not here

    esta procesa (I KNOW you know that an adjective will have the same gender (fem.) and number (sing.) as the noun modified

    (I'm not scolding you, just pointing out the KINDS of things you yourself will want to look for when proofreading. Do not proofread immediately but go away from what you have written so it has a fresh appeal when you come back. Peer proofreading is an excellent idea because others always LOVE to pounce on our errors!

    There is "comias basuras" again plus quitarlas = 1 word referring to comidas?

    It's bad for y ou to have meals? Tis is probably an incomplete thought but excellent use of the Subjunctive

    tú necesitas hacerlo = to do IT, non specified noun in mind

    tienes buen humor (is sufficient here)

    punctuatiion = ¡Ojalá...etc.

    Su español es bueno, considerando, pero siento que no sea perfecto.

    Sra

  • Espanol III - , Thursday, January 27, 2011 at 8:05am

    im in spanish 5 at my school. so taking into consideration that the spanish isn't meant to be perfect. I say you did a very well job. In further spanish class you will learn.

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