Posted by Andy on Sunday, January 23, 2011 at 1:34pm.
In your understanding is this thesis statement clear enough? What other improvements would you make?
The topic is "Theme of Overcoming struggle in the course text"
Many themes are presented in: Hamlet, Death of a Salesmen, Life of Pi, the Road, and the Kite Runner that emphasized the storyline in many ways. Despite the uses of many themes used by the authors, the theme of ‘overcoming struggle’ was brought to life in order to emphasize aspects of the character facing conflict against himself, nature, and others.
English 12 - Writeacher, Sunday, January 23, 2011 at 1:45pm
Many themes are presented in Hamlet, Death of a Salesmen, Life of Pi, the Road, and the Kite Runner. The most powerful theme -- that of ‘overcoming struggle’ -- is used in all these titles to point out that the main character is facing great conflict against himself, nature, and others.
No colon after "in"
Make sure all titles are italicized.
"emphasize the story line" doesn't work very well. It's vague and isn't making much of a statement.
I've revised what you wrote -- to make it more concise and to get to the point. You were "beating around the bush" too much in your original!
English 12 - Writeacher, Sunday, January 23, 2011 at 1:46pm
in all these titles <~~ should be "in all these works"
English 12 - Andy, Sunday, January 23, 2011 at 1:49pm
okay thank you!
English 12 - Writeacher, Sunday, January 23, 2011 at 1:59pm
You're welcome ... go get an A!!
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