question: what are your thoughts onthe idea that television has turned out to isolate people instead of bringing them together.

my essay; please evaluate!

to say that television has turned out to isolate people instead of bringing them together holds true in my opinion.

television is a very popular source of entertainment in every household. it has become a way to relax as portrayed by the television itself in the example of a tired man coming home after a long day at the office, loosening his tie, flopping down on the couch and switching on the television. this in turn widens the gap in the relationship between ones family from whom we are away from, the whole day and still don't give enough time to even when we do have time in our hand.

television takes away so much of our priceless time in just a go and don't even realize it. a standard show is on an average an hour long, and movie, two hours long! our free time is wasted on television cutting back the time we should spend with our families or taking care of our health by exercising. a study conducted recently blamed television as one of the leadin g causes of obesity in children and adults alike!

children no longer wish to spend time outdoors. they'd much rather stay home and watch cartoons. due to which, they lack the ability to interact with people in the society, they don't have confidence and become shy and laconic!

because of the countless hours spent in front of the television a persons rate of human contact in a day decreases greatly, some may even go to the extremes of being lonely and reserved, keeping everything to themselves leading in turn to psychological problems such as depression, one of the leading causes of suicide!

thus in conclusion i would like to say, that the painter andy warhol is not the only one who'd say they stopped caring about having close relationships after getting his first television. many will agree that while television is a great source of entertainment, it is nothing short of any addictive drug, doing more harm than good!

After you go through and put capitals, punctuation, etc., in the correct places and develop the paragraphs properly, please repost.

Currently, I'd give it a 1.

I agree 1.

http://sat.collegeboard.com/scores/sat-essay-scoring-guide

You have to base your argument so evidence.

If you are unclear on things, use the following websites for instruction and examples:

Grammar, punctuation, capitalization, etc.
http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/catalogue.html
and
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/index2.htm

Paragraph development:
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/paragraphs.htm

And if that doesn't make sense to you, use this model:
http://www.everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=1530903

Thank you so much! this really was an eyeopener! i'll go through the websites and try to improve my writing! i'll post another essay hopefully later today.

Knowledge wants to be free, just like these artciles!

nice but there are no proper examples given

Your essay provides a good analysis of the idea that television can isolate people instead of bringing them together. You argue that television consumption takes away valuable time that could be spent with family or on more productive activities like exercise. You also highlight how excessive television viewing can lead to a decrease in human contact, potentially causing loneliness and psychological problems. Your essay ends with a strong conclusion that likens television to an addictive drug that does more harm than good.

To further strengthen your essay, you could consider including some counterarguments and addressing them. For example, some might argue that television can also bring people together through shared experiences or conversations about TV shows. By acknowledging and refuting such counterarguments, your essay will become more well-rounded and persuasive.

Additionally, providing specific examples or supporting evidence can help bolster your arguments. For instance, you mention a study blaming television for obesity, but it would be even stronger if you referenced the study and its findings. Including data, statistics, or real-life anecdotes can provide more credibility to your claims.

Overall, your essay effectively conveys your thoughts on how television can isolate people rather than bring them together. With some additional supporting evidence and counterarguments, your essay will be more compelling and balanced.