Can you please check these sentences for me, please?
Thank you very much.
1) Jason and Mark came quietly into the café. They went to a table and sat down. Then they called the waiter politely. The waiter was their school friend Mickey. Mickey says they called him rudely. Actually, they shouted at him.
2)They wanted to be funny and teased him (made fun of him). At first, Mickey didn’t get angry. He went quickly to their table and asked what they wanted. They ordered hamburgers and milk shakes. When Mickey arrived, Jason pushed him and Mickey dropped Mark’s milk shake on the floor.
3) Mickey didn’t know what to do and Storm told him to clean the floor. Jason and Mark didn’t help Mickey. They just laughed.
4) Jason pretends (?) he didn’t (laugh). Storm picked the milk shake herself and poured it over Jason. Storm admitted pouring the milk shake over Jason and Mr. George, the manager, decided to fire her.
5) Actually, Mr. George was in the kitchen and he didn’t see what happened. Though it was Mickey’s first day Mr. George fired him, too.
English - Writeacher, Tuesday, December 14, 2010 at 3:43pm
Delete everything in parentheses.
Make all the verbs be in past tense (check #4).
Everything else is fine.
English - Peterforthenguyen, Tuesday, December 14, 2010 at 11:30pm
Put a comma after "friend", in "The waiter was their school friend Mickey."