· Read two of the five paragraphs on the second page of this appendix. Write a brief paragraph of about 150 words in which you do the following:
·
o Identify which paragraph was more effective and analyze why this is so.
o Include a discussion of sentence variety and the rhythm of the author’s writing.
o Focus on the writing rather than the opinions presented.
o Underline your topic sentence.
1. A lot of people don’t have wills. Everyone needs a will, but not all people have one. Wills are important because they explain who gets your stuff after you die. You don’t want your things going to someone you don’t want them to go to. My Aunt Martha went to a lawyer to get a will, I did my will online. My dad died in 1988. He didn’t have a will. His stuff went to my step mom, who I don’t get along with. If he would have had a will, I might have been able to start college sooner. But my dad didn’t have a will. A will is good and you need to get one. Do you have a will?
2. Recent economic concerns prompted President Obama to meet with credit card industry executives in April, 2009. The national credit card delinquency rate has continued to grow in recent times, and the President, along with Congress, aims to end unfair fees and increases in interest rates. In addition, the President asked that all terms, disclosures, and statements be clear and easy to read for consumers. Confusing terms, often laid out in fine print, are believed to have led to the nation’s rising debt and delinquency.
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To identify which paragraph was more effective, we need to analyze the writing style, sentence variety, and rhythm of the author's writing in both paragraphs. In paragraph 1, the author presents their personal experience and opinion about the importance of having a will. However, the paragraph lacks sentence variety, as it is dominated by short, simple sentences that feel repetitive. The rhythm of the writing is somewhat monotonous, which can make it less engaging for the reader.
In contrast, paragraph 2 is more effective in terms of writing style. It provides a concise summary of a specific event - President Obama's meeting with credit card industry executives - and the aim to address economic concerns related to credit card debt. The use of varied sentence structures and the inclusion of specific details, such as the call for clear and easy-to-read terms, add depth to the writing and make it more engaging. The rhythm is more dynamic, as the author effectively transitions between various ideas without being repetitive.
Therefore, paragraph 2 is more effective in terms of writing style, sentence variety, and rhythm. It effectively presents the topic without focusing on personal opinions, making it more objective and engaging for the reader.