posted by Jackie .
Please check my paragraph and tell me if I need to add more. I am supposed to write a paragraph which sustains iron tone. Thannks!
Being organized shows a lack of creativity. It spumes boring, takes time and doesn’t come naturally for others. Disorganized people tend to work more efficiently when things are little messy. Also being organized hinders people from expanding their creativities since they focus on being neat.
It would help if you proofread your question before posting it.
I have no idea what an "iron tone" is. What is "spumes"?
It seems like you are confusing being organized with having an obsessive-compulsive disorder. The latter is much more extreme.
I agree with PsyDAG about all his comments.
You are also writing in generalizations. If you don't correct this, you are writing that all "disorganized people" tend to work efficiently, that being organized hinders all "people" from expanding creativity, etc.
Really? You checked? All these people in the world??