Homework Help: Composition and Communication I

Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, November 20, 2010 at 9:09pm.

write a one paragraph analysis of about 150 words, in which you do the following:

oIdentify which of the two selected paragraphs was more effective, focusing on the writing elements rather than the opinions presented.
oAnalyze why one paragraph was more effective than the other.
oIn your analysis, compare the sentence structure, word choice, punctuation, variety, and the rhythm of both paragraphs.
oUnderline your topic sentence.

1. A lot of people don’t have wills. Everyone needs a will, but not all people have one. Wills are important because they explain who gets your stuff after you die. You don’t want your things going to someone you don’t want them to go to. My Aunt Martha went to a lawyer to get a will, I did my will online. My dad died in 1988. He didn’t have a will. His stuff went to my step mom, who I don’t get along with. If he would have had a will, I might have been able to start college sooner. But my dad didn’t have a will. A will is good and you need to get one. Do you have a will?

2. Individuals can be denied credit for a number of reasons. Individuals who are near limits on existing cards, have too much outstanding debt or too many accounts overall, have a history of late payments, charge-offs or bankruptcy are likely to be denied credit. Individuals denied credit, by law, will receive a letter documenting the reason for the denial under the Fair Credit Reporting Act. Individuals who receive that letter should then examine the reasons for the denial and make efforts to correct their credit.

Composition and Communication I - Ms. Sue, Saturday, November 20, 2010 at 9:14pm
Which paragraph do you think is most effective? Why?

We'll be glad to critique your answer.
Composition and Communication I - Anonymous, Saturday, November 20, 2010 at 9:19pm
I was able to keep the balance with the information and it is easily understandable form any point of view. I believe that the paragraph could include more information on how someone can denied credit and how they could avoid the situation better. The information would be beneficial to both the author and the reader or readers so that they would both be able to have the information for the future. This will insure that they know what someone can do to help the situation. They could have a rough idea.
Composition and Communication I - Writeacher, Saturday, November 20, 2010 at 9:27pm
You have not written an analysis; you have written a summary.

Reread your assignment and follow directions:

~~ Identify which of the two selected paragraphs was more effective, focusing on the writing elements rather than the opinions presented.

~~ Analyze why one paragraph was more effective than the other.

~~ In your analysis, compare the sentence structure, word choice, punctuation, variety, and the rhythm of both paragraphs.

~~ Underline your topic sentence.
Composition and Communication I - Ms. Sue, Saturday, November 20, 2010 at 9:28pm
You didn't identify the paragraph that you think is more effective.
Composition and Communication I - Anonymous, Saturday, November 20, 2010 at 10:00pm
The two paragraphs are effective, but in the economy situation that we are in today; number three would be more effective. In today's economy, it runs on credit. I was able to keep the balance with the information and it is easily understandable form any point of view. I believe that the paragraph could include more information on how someone can denied credit and how they could avoid the situation better. The information would be beneficial to both the author and the reader or readers so that they would both be able to have the information for the future. This will insure that they know what someone can do to help the situation. They could have a rough and better understanding
Composition and Communication I - Ms. Sue, Saturday, November 20, 2010 at 10:10pm
I hope you're not taking a college class!

There is no paragraph three.

You haven't followed your directions. Writeacher tried to guide you, but you've ignored her advice.

Your analysis doesn't make any sense. In addition, it's riddled with grammatical errors.
Composition and Communication I - Writeacher, Saturday, November 20, 2010 at 10:13pm
The two paragraphs are effective, but in the economy situation that we are in today;<~~not an independent clause - best to lose the semicolon and use a comma number three would be more effective. <~~There is no number three!

In today's economy, it runs on credit. <~~What is "it"?

I was able to keep the balance<~~What does "keep the balance" mean? with the information and it<~~"it"?? is easily understandable form<~~"form"? any point of view.

I believe that the paragraph could include more information on how someone can denied credit and how they<~~Who are "they"? could avoid the situation better. <~~You can avoid a situation or not, but I don't understand how this could be done "better."

The information would be beneficial to both the author and the reader or readers so that they would both<~~"both" means two -- ?? be able to have the information for the future.

This will insure that they<~~?? know what someone can do to help the situation. <~~"help the situation" - this is extremely vague and unhelpful.

They could have a rough and better understanding <~~Incomplete

You did not follow the third and fourth directions.

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