Posted by Angelina on Tuesday, November 9, 2010 at 8:13pm.
Alright thanks for the sites. I updated my paragraph.
Ralph Waldo Emerson's poem "Success” is an apt description of being successful because each line in the poem reflects the ray towards victory. His poem tells reach reader to be responsible, respectful, and strong in life. It gives them the willpower to start caring for individuals and objects around them. Ralph Waldo Emerson's poem describes how one can become successful in life by following the radiance of the heart filled with compassion and love, which once brought out will make everything more serene. This poem signifies how one can stay content if they change themselves and lead others the right way. This poem gives out motivation and inspires others to keep on moving in the right direction. I
wholeheartedly agree with Ralph Waldo Emerson’s description of the concept of being successful in his poem “Success”.
Please tell me if this sounds good.
"the ray towards victory" = ??
"His poem tells reach reader to be responsible, respectful, and strong in life. It gives them the willpower to start caring for individuals and objects around them." = two problems in here. Do you see them? Read it aloud. Can you hear them?
"and love, which once brought out will make everything ..." = punctuation problem here. Do you see it?
"how one can stay content if they change themselves" = Can you hear the problem in here if you read it aloud?
The content is fine; fix the mechanical errors and you'll have a really good paper.
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