posted by Anonymous .
Write two paragraphs explaining the changes that you would make to revise the paper. The minimum word count for these two paragraphs is 400 words.The Dark Knight was the most popular film of 2008. [Stating it was the most popular film of 2008 is a big statement that needs supporting documentation. Also be sure to indent the first line of each paragraph] Unlike most popular summer movies it was also considered to be a quality film and was thought to be a contender to earn an academy award nomination. Ultimately that honor was not bestowed on the film, but it’s [Contractions should not be used in academic writing. Also in this case “its” rather than “it’s” should have been used. It’s = it is, while its is possessive.] popularity and [Insert a comma before "and" if the following (1) is the last in a series of more than two, OR (2) it begins a new clause (could be a sentence by itself)] ability to elevate the comic book film, which is rarely associated with quality storytelling, remain.
The film is a continuation of the direction that Batman Begins took. It [It must refer to a specific word in the sentence or the reader may become confused.] showed a darker version of Batman than the one seen in the Timothy Burton and Joel Shumacher films. The core unit responsible for Batman Begins also made The Dark Knight. Specifically the director, Christopher Nolan, the writer David S. Goyer and the stars such as Christian Bale, Gary Oldmand, and Michael Caine all played a role in both of the films with the only exception being Maggie Gyllenhall replacing Katie Holmes and Heath Ledger playing the Joker in one of his last roles, which will be remembered as an excellent performance and [Insert a comma before "and" if the following (1) is the last in a series of more than two, OR (2) it begins a new clause (could be a sentence by itself)] one which earned him an academy award after he had passed away. [This run on sentence needs to be broken up. Remember that a paragraph is a series of sentences that relate to a particular point that you want to make. They usually consist of four or five sentences "bunched" together around one idea.]
What makes The Dark Knight fairly unique among comic book movies is the focus on acting and storytelling. The acting is impressive across the boards. Bale, Oldman, Ledger, Caine, Morgan Freeman, and [Insert a comma before "and" if the following (1) is the last in a series of more than two, OR (2) it begins a new clause (could be a sentence by itself)] Aaron Eckhardt all excel in their roles. Unlike most comic book-movies, the actors are given moments to showcase their acting abilities.
The cinematography followed the look established in Batman Begins by using subdued colors, lots [Eliminate colloquial language in academic writing. Colloquial language is informal phrasing that is used when speaking, but it is not acceptable in academic writing. Rather, use many or much instead of lots. ] of darkness and a more restrained visual style than the one seen in the late 80s and 90s. In many ways the new style of the two more recent Batman films can be seen as an attempt, which at this point must be considered succesful [Spelling error made – successful], to distance the franchise from the negative connotations that Batman and [Insert a comma before "and" if the following (1) is the last in a series of more than two, OR (2) it begins a new clause (could be a sentence by itself)] Robin had.
Wikipedia wrote the following about the film: It was greeted with positive reviews upon release, and became only the second film to earn more than $500 million at the North American box office, setting numerous other records in the process. It [It must refer to a specific word in the sentence or the reader can become confused.] is also the fourth highest grossing film worldwide, and only the fourth film to earn more than $1 billion, worldwide. [APA citation error. If the author is cited in text = Author's name (year) "direct quote" (p. #). If the author is not cited in text = "direct quote" (author, year, p. #).]
In conclusion, [Try to start your conclusion with a strong stance. I would refrain from starting any paragraph with “In conclusion.”] I hope that you [Word choice. You and your mean general humanity. In academic writing, second person (you and your) should be replaced with a third person pronoun (he, she, it, one, and they). ] have enjoyed this paper and take the opportunity to see the movie soon. You [Do not use second person in academic writing.] will enjoy it. [Strengthen the conclusion as it draws together your thinking, often summarizing what you've said, making a final point for the reader to think about.]
I am not sure what your question is here. The comments look fine to me. An additional comment would be that in academic writing things are either unique or they are not, so the 'fairly' is not needed in "What makes The Dark Knight fairly unique among comic...".