I need help with expanding the following essay.
Hoagland describes that he feels like a city rat, living in New York City. There is a lot more violence than there used to be, yet after seeing or hearing about it one just goes on with their life. People have worked out a system to living in New York City. You cannot react to every act of violence or tragedy. Hoagland turns on different types of music for each time of day to drown out the sounds coming from outside. Although there are parks in the city, he has tired of them quickly and seems to associate parks such as Central Park, Washington Square, and Tompkins with New York City. Hoagland says, “And the last time my wife and I picnicked in Van Cortland Park, which is more countrified, we needed to cut at top speed through the woods to escape two men who were stalking us. (Hoagland, 127)” All the places in the city remind him of certain events and hold memories. Yet as much as people want to get out of New York City, the city is where the action is and many of us have an almost magnetic pull to action. Hoagland wonders if it’s the right thing to raise his young daughter here with sooty air amongst all the cultural institution, as well as the violence. He feels as if he is a true New Yorker, yet he does not want to live in this sooty city filled with tragedy and violence.
I sometimes wonder just like Hoagland does, would I want to raise my children in New York City. The city that never sleeps seems to have a hold on me. The cultural institutions are just a subway ride away and there is always something happening. In contrast, I also imagine living in a more countrified area, where the air is clearer and where kids have more room to run around. The center of town is just a strip mall consisting of the most basic stores and the community close-knit. Then I wonder that if by the time these same kids are teenagers, do they feel enclosed or entrapped in a safe town that doesn’t provide much in the way of entertainment.
I have several questions for you:
1. What is your assignment? That is, what type of paper are you supposed to be writing?
2. What is your thesis statement?
3. Do you have a plan or outline, written up before you started your rough draft?
Let us know.
It's a response paper to Hoagland's City Rat. I don't have a thesis or outline. I'm better at writing up a paper and then putting in a thesis and organizing it. I'm not even sure how well I understand the story, so if there are things that I didn't get, can you please let me know?
I am reminded of going hunting years ago, the gent I took was shooting wildly, one bullet flew over me. In a rage, I confronted him...angrily...asked him wth....he stated that he was better shooting than aiming.
Your writing is without aim, whether you agree or not. It just seems to have no thread, or purpose. Yes, you don't have a thesis (a central bullseye) nor an outline (a plan to hit the bullseye).
In critical reading, one looks for the central theme as a purpose of the story. One takes notes on that, writing in margins, or in notebooks. What was the theme, what was the thread that wove it together? A plot within a setting usually does this. The output of a critical analysis is a "thesis".
Your acknowledgment of not understanding the story fits here, and in my experience, not getting things, means you are not seeing the target.
My experience with teaching reading to college prep students tells me that you could benefit from honest application of the skills introduced here:
http://www.pinkmonkey.com/electricdesk/studysmart/ssmart10.asp
I hope you give it a try, but my experience tells me that you won't.
Good luck.
To expand your essay, you can continue exploring the advantages and disadvantages of raising children in New York City versus a more rural area. Start by delving further into the appeal of living in the city. Discuss the cultural opportunities and exposure to diverse experiences that living in a bustling metropolitan area like New York City can offer. For example, you can talk about the range of museums, theaters, and art galleries that are easily accessible. Emphasize how growing up in such an environment can broaden a child's horizons, foster creativity, and expose them to different perspectives and cultures.
Next, explore the drawbacks of raising children in a city known for its fast pace, violence, and pollution. Discuss the concerns about safety and the challenges of navigating crowded streets, public transportation, and the potential negative influences that children may encounter. Consider exploring Hoagland's perspective on the constant exposure to tragedy and violence as a significant factor in his reluctance to raise his daughter in New York City. Discuss how this can lead to heightened stress levels and affect the overall well-being of both parents and children.
Transitioning to the rural setting, discuss the benefits of raising children in a more countrified area. Focus on the idea of a closer-knit community, where children have more space to roam and explore. Talk about the potential advantages of having a slower pace of life, cleaner air, and a sense of connection with nature. Highlight the potential benefits of a simpler lifestyle, where children can engage in outdoor activities, form strong connections with their community, and develop a deeper appreciation for environmental stewardship.
However, also address possible drawbacks of rural living when it comes to raising children. Discuss the potential lack of entertainment options and limited access to cultural institutions. Explore the idea that as teenagers, these children might feel constrained or limited by the lack of opportunities for personal growth and development beyond their small community. Compare this to the abundance of extracurricular activities, events, and opportunities for personal growth that a city like New York can provide.
Conclude your essay by reflecting on your own perspective and contemplating the challenges and considerations involved in deciding where to raise your children. Consider the need to strike a balance between the opportunities and advantages of city life versus the benefits of a more rural, nature-filled upbringing.