posted by Heather on .
please help me correct my essay grammar
Last week, me and my friends joined car-pool on our bikes and we planned to go to the Memorial Park. Memorial Park is one of the largest municipal entertaining parks in Houston. ¡°A favorite among Houston¡¯s joggers, Memorial Park also features tennis courts, playing fields, a fitness center, swimming pool and six miles of the mountain and recreational bike trails along the bayous¡±(houstontx). The beautiful place is loaded with lots of smooth fun single-track. Basketball and football pitches and a long winding jogging path in the memorial park are surrounded with hills and trees. It is a prime choice for people who are wild about sports. One of the most attractive things in the park is the bike trails. In my view, it is a great place to run, hike and bike. On Shepherd Street, there is a bike shop where there were different bicycles with different functions after looking at different bicycles; I bought a mountain bike after consulting an experienced salesperson in the shop. The sunshine was warm; the wind was kissing our faces gently when I used 5th gear to reach the top of the hill. Memorial Park is one of the ideal fun places for the family as well as friends. One can enjoy and have picnic here. One can race with your friends and play different types sports. The bike trail is paved about eight loop which enables many people to ride together in single as well as a couple. The trial has a friendly environment where people are smiling and waving hands to each other when riding bikes on the trail.
¡°We are senior citizens who were looking for a way to exercise for health reasons and who always thought bicycling would be fun if we could find someplace to ride without dealing with traffic¡± (great-trails). Fair enough, bike trails offers many benefits to people. At first, it is the best way to save people¡¯s money for traveling apart from walking without traffic. Almost, bicycles are quite affordable and can easily get them to wherever people want to go anytime. In addition, people don¡¯t have to purchase gas for a bike. It is easy to carry out and less mechanical problems than a car. In Houston, Bicycle has been replaced by car and motorcycle so many years ago. People are getting fat and lazy because of that they have been relying on their cars and motorcycles too much. Even just 5 minutes walking time, they are pretty much willing to drive their cars to get there more than riding bicycles. Thus, their healthy is deteriorated but also serious traffic and emission of carbon monoxide into the atmosphere every day. However, bike trails is one of the aerobics which can enhance respiratory and circulatory efficiency for all ages. On the face of it, it is good for the environment because there is less noisy and no air pollution. At the same time, the beautiful scenery along the trail and lively people smile to each other. You'll be cherished how good you feel.
Rice students released a new green idea that is pushing higher tax on carbon dioxide emissions in order to reduce gas through political process. At the same time, Rice students suggested that using electric car can cut oil usage and lower the air pollution than before effectually. ¡°The U.S. currently has about 250 million oil-fueled vehicles on the road, helping to make it the single largest energy consumer and producer of greenhouse gases in the world¡± (Fowler). However, the contradiction between ideal and reality is always exiting. Government has large numbers of problems to be dealing with especially economic recession. Electric car is just a newborn thing that needs to be for a long time wait for people to accept and approval. And the price of this type car is a kind of expensive than may others car even tough normal cars have better configuration or quality. ¡°There are certainly barriers to getting consumers to adopt electric vehicles. Batteries are one major issue ¡ª they are expensive and it¡¯s unclear how long they last¡± (Kuo). To be objective, electric car is really a good new green energy-conserving car in automotive industry because of the limited petroleum supplies, which lead to the entire world, have been competed for limited petroleum and natural gas resources intensely until today. But, on the other side, driving performance of electric car still needs to be improving in the future so that electricity would be the new replacement resource with gas. ¡°Switching to electric-drive cars doesn't automatically wipe out oil use or carbon emissions. Plug-in hybrid cars can only travel so far on a charge; eventually, the gasoline engine kicks in¡± (Rahim). Apparently, the way people adopt to drive an electric car is not that easy than ridging bicycle. Let us imagine that if most of family can leave their cars in their garages, hanging out or go for a short trip in the way of bike trail when the holiday or weekend is coming. It is good for both exercising themselves to be healthy and our environment all the time. What is more, people will have a lot of fun, because you can explore architecture, ecological niches, public art and so on. People will meet unique local custom and enjoy bicycling beautiful landscape.
The tempo of American life is fast, obviously, this is an important reason why people have many different kinds of diseases such as obesity and heart disease because people are always facing the stresses and strains of their jobs every day. They just want to have as much rest as they could when they are off work. ¡°The exercise benefit is particularly relevant today, given that nearly two-thirds of American adults are either overweight or obese. In recent years, adult obesity rates have swelled to 32 percent, up from 15 percent in 1980. Obesity is linked to heart disease, stroke and other health problems such as diabetes¡± (Environmental Defense Fund). It has been said of old: ¡°Health is most valuable¡±, but ¡°Life lies in motion¡±. Bike trails can be a regular form of exercise of stress relief. Whether you do it for health intentions, or even to just be with your family and friends being excited about riding is a chain effect on each others.
To sum up, bike trails is especially a good way for human being health. It is also a green way of conveyance for all ages all over the world. As greenhouse-gas emissions are becoming more serious every day, people should realize that how important to reduce the carbon emissions in order to protect the only one place that we can rely on- earth. Riding bicycle indicates a reasonable idea which is definitely remanding these countries whose vehicles have been the majority transportation for a long time. Furthermore, it is such a nice view to see people riding bicycles with lovely smiles and waving hands to others in the morning sunshine. People can get better chance to know new friends getting more friendly and enthusiastic. Meanwhile, communication and exercises are really healthy way to help people reducing the pressure from work or study. Memorial Park is the best bike trails place that I never found in Houston community because it is huge beautiful and functional covered with cushy grass and trees. It is an amazing park that people should not miss when they are preparing to bike trail with your family or friends. You always can meet people racing as a team. Their passions inspire me persistently working on this sport in the future. In a word, this time bike trails have given me extremely fun, fairly easy. Bike trails is not only help people improving quality both life and healthy, but also it makes a contribution to protecting the environment. I am looking forward next time bike trails at Memorial Park.
I don't have time to respond to the whole essay, but I will respond to the first paragraph (with all caps for contrast).
Last week, me and my friends ("MY FRIENDS ND I") joined car-pool on our bikes (HOW DO YOU CAR-POOL WITH BIKES?)(COMMA) and we planned to go to the Memorial Park. Memorial Park is one of the largest municipal entertaining ("ENTERTAINMENT") parks in Houston. ¡°A favorite among Houston¡¯s (I DON'T UNDERSTAND THESE SYMBOLS.) joggers, Memorial Park also features tennis courts, playing fields, a fitness center, swimming pool and six miles of the mountain and recreational bike trails along the bayous¡±(houstontx)(???). The beautiful place is loaded with lots of smooth (COMMA) fun single-track(S). Basketball and football pitches (WHAT ARE PITCHES? PITCHING AREAS?) and a long (COMMA) winding jogging path in the memorial park are ("IS") surrounded with hills and trees. It is a prime choice for people who are wild about sports.
SKIP LINE OR INDENT FOR NEW PARAGRAPHS, WHICH ARE NEEDED TO INDICATE CHANGES IN IDEAS, PLACES, PERSONS OR TIME.
One of the most attractive things in the park is the bike trails. In my view, it is a great place to run, hike and bike. On Shepherd Street, there is a bike shop where there were different bicycles with different functions (END SENTENCE) after looking at different bicycles (AND) after consulting an experienced salesperson in the shop (COMMA) I bought a mountain bike.
(NEED A TRANSITION TO THE NEW SETTING."I TOOK MY NEW BIKE ON ONE OF THE TRAILS WITH SOME FRIENDS.") The sunshine was warm; the wind was kissing our faces gently when I used 5th (SPELL OUT) gear to reach the top of the hill.
Memorial Park is one of the ideal fun places for the family as well as friends. One ("PEOPLE"?) can enjoy (WHAT?) and have picnic here. One ("YOU") can race with your friends and play different types sports. The bike trail is paved about eight loop(S)(COMMA) which enables many people to ride together in single(S) as well as a couple(S). The trial has a friendly environment (COMMA) where people are smiling and waving hands (DELETE "HANDS") to each other when riding bikes on the trail.
You need to review your use of commas.
In the future, if nobody is available to proofread your work, you can do this yourself. After writing your material, put it aside for a day — at least several hours. (This breaks mental sets you might have that keep you from noticing problems.) Then read it aloud as if you were reading someone else's work. (Reading aloud slows down your reading, so you are less likely to skip over problems.)
If your reading goes smoothly, that is fine. However, wherever you "stumble" in your reading, other persons are likely to have a problem in reading your material. Those "stumbles" indicate areas that need revising.
Another option, if it is available on your computer, is to have the computer read it to you.
Also, make use of "Spelling and Grammar" under "Tools" in your word processing program.
Once you have made your revisions, repeat the process above. Good papers often require many drafts.