Posted by Kayla on Sunday, October 10, 2010 at 12:09pm.
It is ok, although your sentences seem to have a lot of comma clauses. Short sentences are more effective.
You avoided one of the prime concerns of animal rights folks: That the frog (or rabbit, or rat, or pig) didn't have to be killed at all, it was sacrificed for some teen to carve on. These are the same arguments against meat eating. Anyway, you didn't address it.
So on your sentences, go back and highlight all sentences with more that 12 words. Experiment with tightening them up. Folks get lost in following long sentences. Short sentences stick.
First sentence has a subject/verb disagreement. "disecting IS wrong".
"layed" should be "laid"
Use a comma after "laid out,but"
Semi-colon after Think of this way; how.
"Hands-on" is hyphenated.
I wouldn't think so. Therefore you can learn a lot from a textbook but not everything that you would get from actually looking inside the animal.
"teacher's instructions"
Leave the "in" off before "realize"
"wrong" is mispelled.
In the last sentence, leave "be" out.
what is colon?
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