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July 7, 2015

Homework Help: descriptive essay

Posted by Anna on Monday, September 27, 2010 at 10:30pm.

This is my introduction paragraph for a descriptive essay. My professor told me that the thesis was a fact, not an idea. Is there a way that I can reword it to make it an idea?

Though being a parent is one of the greatest joys of life, teen parenting comes with a few consequences. Living in the attic of my boyfriendís motherís house is one of mine. The small apartment my boyfriendís mom rents is located above a family owned grocery store. While the attic of the apartment serves as a pretty large bedroom for one person, it is not an ideal place for two young adults and a toddler to spend most of their time together. Maneuvering in the crowded room amongst the obstacles of toys, diapers, shoes, laundry baskets, and other personal belongings is a daily hassle. Finding enough space to organize all of our belongings is impossible. There is barely enough space to walk through the room. Sharing such a small space with between so many people is not something I am accustomed to; before I graduated from high school, my daughter and I lived with my mother. My mom owns a decently sized three bedroom house. My old home is not anything spectacular, but it is definitely larger than where I am living now. In addition, being that my mom was always at work, my daughter and I had an entire spacious house all to ourselves; however, clearly, now that is not the case. My bedroom, which I share with my boyfriend and my daughter, is unbearably crowded.

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