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December 10, 2016

Homework Help: college english

Posted by Jennifer on Sunday, September 26, 2010 at 3:53pm.

I have to revise sentences to eliminate illogical or overused coordination. Is the following sentence correct? Thanks!

Fencing equipment includes a mask, a padded jacket, and a glove, and one of three weapons-a foil,epee, or saber-and a fencer's technique and targets differ depending on the weapon used and the fencer's experience.

Revised: Fencing equipment includes a mask, a padded jacket, a glove, and one of three weapons: a foil, epee, or saber. A fencer's technique and targets differ depending on the weapon used and the fencer's experience.

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