posted by flame on .
how can i fix this sentence
a woman who comes to Ashley for a routine blood pressure check in the clinic shares the news to Ashley that her 19-year-old daughter is pregnant
Mostly some of the extraneous words need to be removed. Try something like this:
A woman who came in for a routine blood pressure check told Ashley that her 19-year-old daughter is pregnant.
The only problem is who "her" is referring to -- the woman or Ashley!! You'll have to decide that and see what else needs fixing.