posted by Shadow on .
I'm writing an essay on the topic " Contributing to the community" and I was wondering what you guy think if I start my first sentence like this.
Everyone in their life had made some world-shattering contributions to the community.These significant additions help us determine our world and destiny.
-If there anything you think I should add/change, please do tell me. Thanks
Faulty pronoun. Everyone is singular. Their is plural and needs a plural antecedent.
I don't think contributing to a community is world-shaking.
"determine our world and destiny" is too vague.
Please try again.