Hello I am looking for some help with my Final for this class. Here is the assignment:
Final Project: Race and Your Community
Resource: Appendix A
Due Date: Day 7 [Assignment] forum
Prepare a 1,400- to 1,750-word autobiographical research paper that analyzes the influences of race as it relates to your community. In your paper, write your first-person account of how human interactions in your community have been racialized. For the community, you can consider relations within your neighborhood, local government, service groups, clubs, schools, workplace, or any environment of which you are a part. In your paper, be sure to answer and provide examples for the following core questions:
-Do members of your community look like you? In what ways do they look the same or different?
-How do leaders within your community treat people who are like you? How do they treat people who are different?
-How do other members of your community treat people who are like you? How do they treat people who are different?
-Do your texts or work manuals contain information by or about people like you?
-Do the local media represent people like you? If so, in what ways?
-What are some similarities and differences between you and the people who are in leadership positions in your community? Do you feel minority group interests are represented within your community?
-If you could resolve any inequities within your community, what would you change? How and why?
-Which main concepts from the text relate to race? Apply some of these concepts to your project.
Ensure the following elements are included:
-The thesis addresses racial issues in your local community.
-The content is comprehensive and accurate.
-The paper itself draws on your personal experiences with and opinions about cultural diversity in your community.
-Three sources are used, and one source is a community member, leader, or representative from a local community organization.
-The paper is written in first-person point of view, with an autobiographical approach.
-Text concepts are applied to your observations.
-Assignment questions are answered.
-The paper includes perspectives from supporting sources.
-The conclusion is logical, flows from the body of the paper, and reviews the major points.
-Paragraph transitions are present.
-The tone is appropriate.
-Sentences are well-constructed.
-The paper, title page, and references follow APA guidelines.
-Rules of grammar, usage, and punctuation are followed.
-Spelling is correct.
Post your completed research paper as an attachment.
I need someone to read what I have so far. And help me with what else I can add and how to add it? Maybe any suggestions you may have will help. Here is what I have so far.
I'm a Caucasian female I was born in Point Pleasant New Jersey. Many of the people that I grew up in my community either looked like me or lived a similar lifestyle, including many of the same beliefs and morals. We had a small amount of African Americans and Latin Americans in our community as well. Most of the people in my community got along well; in my family we were always taught that all people should be respected and that we were all created equal. Racism wasn't tolerated. We had a few Latin American kids and African American kids living in the neighborhood, and they hung out with us all. We never looked at color or race as kids. We were friends; we ate at each others houses, slept over, and even were in each others weddings. My friends and I would do normal kid things, like playing Barbie’s, went swimming, played tennis, and riding dirt bikes and plenty other typical outdoor activities. When I was growing up, we didn't lock our doors. Your best friend’s mom would and could whoop your butt if you did something wrong. We said 'yes ma'am', 'no ma'am' and 'thank you'. That's just how it was. You helped out your friends with their chores so they could finish faster and you could go play. We watched out for one another and enjoyed our lives and childhood.
I grew up playing soccer with the kids in my neighborhood. I decided to play at St. Lucie County girl’s only soccer team and they all played at sportsman’s park. It made it more fun, because we got a chance to play against each other. We all knew we would play together in high school, but it was fun doing it this way as a younger girl. There were about 4 of us girls in the neighborhood that rode dirt bikes, and we would ride for an hour everyday and then go play soccer. Most of us were latch key kids, who would spend the day playing and making it home before dark since our parents worked. I wonder sometimes how so many kids can stay in the house all day playing video games or watching television, when there is so much you can do being outside with your friends and exploring the world. My community was relatively small, we didn't have a lot of the amenities that a lot of big cities had, but we had more of a sense of community and family that you can't find in a big city environment. We have a small neighbor paper that talks about things going on in the community and definitely represents the people in the community. Our television news covers different events (good and bad) that happen throughout the town, they even have days when they allow kids from the community report on the weather. I think the people that lived in my community are good Floridian people, very hospitable, caring and helpful. It was an excellent community to grow up in and to raise a child in. There were some trailer parks that seemed to be quite rundown, but there are some very good people living there. I wish that the city would pass a clean community act to assist the trailer parks keep their area clean and looking good, but people have to want it too. Other than that, most of the neighborhoods were well kept, and we never had separate neighborhoods with separate races in them. Maybe I was kind of sheltered, but to me Port St. Lucie was just a small and friendly town. Today, Port St Lucie is much larger and diverse than it was during the 70's and 80's when I was a child. For example, when I grew up, the town had two high schools, now they have six of them.
The minorities in my community were treated well, like any other person, as far as I could tell. We all treated one another like family, and you could find people of different races living, working, going to school and shopping all in the same places. I remember when I was in high school noticing that the students did hang out in different and somewhat separate ways; most of the African American guys hung out in one particular hallway, while the 'rednecks' hung outside because they were dipping and smoking, while everyone else just blended in between the two. The year I graduated high school, we voted as a class for a black homecoming queen. We found out that it was the first time in our school's 40 year history that a young black woman was elected as homecoming queen! She was so awesome and deserved to win. I danced in a group called the SFDC, who were popular dance group in the State of Florida, and performed all over. We traveled all summer long and competed in State competitions all over South Florida. My friends always gave me a tough time; but when they saw me compete they all loved it and thought it was pretty cool.
We did have one blight on the face of our town and that was Uncle Davey's Americana. Davey thinks he is a reincarnated Confederate General still alive to fight the good fight of the confederacy. He has owned a Civil War shop for many years that is filled with artifacts from the war as well as a wealth of racist items and materials. Most people thought and still do think that he is crazy, but there are people who go to his store, he's sort of a local legend and has been featured in a handful of news stories, especially when some newspaper wants to point out how the south is still full of racism. Uncle Davey’s Americana store was really not my speed. I went into it one time and didn't like all the KKK stuff, and "Negro" scalps... He does however, have some authentic stuff from the war, but the other stuff made me very uncomfortable. My black friends loved going in there and acting foolishly! I would just wait outside and then we'd go over to the superette and get candy and cokes. In (1999), (Bob Minsky) Davey introduced the Gun ordinance into the city limits in the mid 90's. The ordinance enforced that if you live within the city limits, it was mandatory that you own a gun. All the adults owned guns anyway, so wasn't too much of an issue, but the press ate it up and made a really big deal out of it.
I have been with my employer now for the last six years. I work for a Construction Company in South Florida. My companies’ minority ratio is about 80% Hispanic. So I would say they do treat everyone fairly. No we do not have any discrimination policies. Overall I think they are a great company to work for and everyone that works here is very nice and we all work together as a team with all different races. I think this is what makes us such a great company in this difficult time in this economy.
You need to read the requirements (Ensure the following elements...). Find in your essay exactly where each bulleted item is located.
I didn't find a thesis statement.
You have some word choices that are weak.
Reread your sentences slowly to find them.
Overall, interesting. I would like to read the same assignment written by one of your school black friends.
Make certain you addressed the requirements stated (ensure that ..), that is a major grade component.
I am not sure what you mean about following the elements? Do you mean I should include Your Community, Challenges, employer, and etc? If this is correct do I make them in bold?
I am working on rereading it one more time and I hope I catch it. I have until Sunday to get this exactly right. If you could can give me any feedback will be great.
Thanks Again!!
<<Ensure the following elements are included: >> This is what I mean, the elements listed in your assignment. I didn't recognize some of them in your essay.
BobPursley is trying to tell you to see to it that you address every one of these points in the assignment:
Ensure the following elements are included:
-The thesis addresses racial issues in your local community.
-The content is comprehensive and accurate.
-The paper itself draws on your personal experiences with and opinions about cultural diversity in your community.
-Three sources are used, and one source is a community member, leader, or representative from a local community organization.
-The paper is written in first-person point of view, with an autobiographical approach.
-Text concepts are applied to your observations.
-Assignment questions are answered.
-The paper includes perspectives from supporting sources.
-The conclusion is logical, flows from the body of the paper, and reviews the major points.
-Paragraph transitions are present.
-The tone is appropriate.
-Sentences are well-constructed.
-The paper, title page, and references follow APA guidelines.
-Rules of grammar, usage, and punctuation are followed.
-Spelling is correct.
Have you checked and double-checked every one of these? Made sure you have all these elements accounted for in your paper?
I still haven't found a thesis statement.
I have been working on this the last two days. I found the mistakes that you were mentioning. The only thing is I am not sure how to come up with my thesis and I do I add one to this essay? Do you have nay ideas that might be able to help me?
I think I have came up with my thesis. Let me know what you think.
Even though, I was raised not to be racist everyone deserves to be treated the same because we are all human no matter what color skin we have. In this essay I plain on discussing what kind of community I live in and see if there is any Similarities and differences between me and the leadership positions in my community.
How in the world could you have written this much of a paper without a thesis?
A thesis statement is ONE SENTENCE which states the main idea of your paper, including what your stance is and what you intend to prove by the end.
Here are some sites that give excellent explanations and examples (poor and revised) of thesis statements. Please study them both and then rewrite. Let us know what you come up with.
http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/thesistatement.html
http://blog.eduify.com/index.php/2009/06/21/5-tips-on-how-to-write-a-strong-thesis-statement/
Okay what about this for my Thesis?
Racial issues vary from community to community. Where I live in Port St. Lucie, Florida there are not many racial issues because the number of minorities is very low. According to the 2009 United States Census Bureau the total population is 18,537,969 people with 79% of that number being white. It is very seldom that I ever see anyone from a different race or culture. Don’t get me wrong, there is still 21 percent of the population left that is divided between other races such as African Americans, Hispanics, and Asians. Even though there is not a very big number of different races in Florida, that does not mean that racism does not exist.
After this thesis statement do I just go on with my essay? The 1st paragraph up above? Or do I need to change that too?