Posted by rfvv on Saturday, August 28, 2010 at 6:04am.
Here's a revision. One thing you can do to make your writing better is to start combining ideas so there aren't so many short sentences.
During summer vacation, I went by car to Spo1 Park. I enjoyed swimming in the pool there and learned how to do the backstroke. It is not easy to swim on my back. I always feel so happy when I look at this picture.
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