posted by Anonymous on .
Can you help me with this proofing? Does it sound correct and flow nicely from sentence to sentence?
1. The Certified Coder position offered by Skaggs’s Regional medical Center, exactly matches my recent training and career goals.
2. I became intrigued with medical coding while taking care of my mother's bills after a lengthy hospital stay.
3. Each bill she received contained numbers and terms associated with her illness, none of which I could understand.
4. I began researching these terms along with the possible career potential, becoming more fascinated by the organization and detail used in medical coding.
5. As a result, I found that medical coding opportunities are expected to grow rapidly from the increased use of technology and the 2010 Health Care Reform Bill.
6. After finding the perfect career, I began searching for the perfect education.
7. Consequently, I found that UAPB met the requirements I would need to fulfill my dream, I enrolled immediately, and completed Medical Coding and Billing with a 3.4 GPA.
8. The prospect of working with such a successful organization as Skaggs Regional Medical Center is immensely exciting.
9. I understand while striving to be a successful business, we must remember there are real people behind each code used in our billing procedures.
10. I know I can contribute passionately to both and I look forward to serving with you.
You can't sense "flow" if you divide up the sentences like this. Here's an idea for you, thanks to PsyDAG:
After writing your material, put it aside for a day — at least several hours. (This breaks mental sets you might have that keep you from noticing problems.) Then read it aloud as if you were reading someone else's work. (Reading aloud slows down your reading, so you are less likely to skip over problems.)
[You can also either read it aloud to someone else or have someone else read it aloud to you! (The latter works really well!)]
If your reading goes smoothly, that is fine. However, wherever you "stumble" in your reading, other people are likely to have a problem in reading your material. Those "stumbles" indicate areas that need revising.
Once you have made your revisions, repeat the process above. Good papers often require many drafts.
And here are three really good websites that will help, too.
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6. dream. I enrolled immediately...
(sounds better as separate sentences, otherwise it's a run-on)
It sounds great!