Can you please check these sentences on "Dubliners"? Thank you a lot in advance.
1)Imagining the intensity of Michael Furey’s passion for Gretta, Gabriel realizes that in comparison his own relationship with his wife has been mediocre and emotionally insipid.
2)cAll of this causes him to reflect that it might be better to live a short but emotionally full life than a long and pathetic one, that fades away with age with nothing memorable to look back on.
3)cHe realizes that he and the guests of the party are deader than Michael Furey.
4)cHe feels pity for his wife. He fears she might have not told him the whole story.
5)cThen he recalls the supper at his aunt’s, in particular his speech, the dancing and the greetings before leaving.
6)cHe also recalls their walk along the river in the snow. He realizes that Aunt Julia will probably die soon.
7)Gabriel turns then to the window because he hears the snow hitting the window. The snow makes him feel inadequate and resigned. He become one with all the living and the dead.
1. to me it reads better with a comma after comparison.
4. how about "she might not have told" so you don't split the verb.
7. present tense = He becomes
past tense = He became. I'd use present as is the rest of it.
Sra