Ms. Sue the A-z story I did on the Ugly duckling was a rough draft. Now I have to polish it, and these are the postive and negative comments I received from some classmates.
Postive ones:
-Cute
-Descriptive
-Good ending
-Good grammar
Negative ones:
-No exciting point in story
-Don't understand semicolon in sentence N- doesn't work
-Improve sentence I
-J?- was confusing X?
-Heard before
-Sometimes too descriptive, & jumbled & squished together
I really want to make this story modern now. Have any suggestions for a good story line? Sad ones would be great, even a few comedy words would be fine. Thanks a lot for all your help:-)
To get an exciting part in the story -- you could elaborate on the episode when the duckling discovered that the grandma wanted to fatten him up to eat him for dinner.
Another version of this story could be about a homely and insecure child who grows up to be beautiful and confident.
Alright, I'll work on it and will hopefully be able to post it onto here tonight, thanks 4 ur help:-)
To polish your rough draft and make it more modern, here are some suggestions for a good storyline that incorporates elements of sadness and comedy:
1. "The Misfit Swan": In this modern adaptation of "The Ugly Duckling," a swan is born different from its siblings, struggling to fit in. The story explores themes of identity, acceptance, and self-discovery. Add elements of sadness by highlighting the swan's feelings of isolation and the challenges it faces in finding its true place. Introduce comedic moments through the interactions with other animal characters who have their own quirks and eccentricities, bringing lightness to the narrative.
2. "Feathers and Laughter": This story follows the journey of a misunderstood bird who dreams of becoming a stand-up comedian. The bird faces constant rejection due to its unconventional appearance and struggles with self-doubt and loneliness. Incorporate moments of sadness as the bird faces setbacks and feelings of failure. Inject humor by including witty dialogue, humorous encounters with other animal characters, and the bird's persistent pursuit of its passion for comedy.
3. "The Unconventional Family": Set in a contemporary urban setting, this tale revolves around an abandoned, odd-looking duckling who discovers a group of misfit animals, each with their own unique traits. Together, they form an unlikely family and embark on a heartwarming adventure to find their place in the world. Infuse elements of sadness through the characters' emotional journeys of searching for belonging and overcoming past traumas. Incorporate comedy through their comical escapades, humorous mishaps, and the bond they share as an unconventional family.
Remember, these are just suggestions, and you can modify or combine them to suit your vision for the story. Experiment with incorporating different emotions and tones to create a well-rounded, modern narrative. Good luck with your story!