Posted by Sara on Monday, May 31, 2010 at 7:20pm.
Ms. Sue the A-z story I did on the Ugly duckling was a rough draft. Now I have to polish it, and these are the postive and negative comments I received from some classmates.
-No exciting point in story
-Don't understand semicolon in sentence N- doesn't work
-Improve sentence I
-J?- was confusing X?
-Sometimes too descriptive, & jumbled & squished together
I really want to make this story modern now. Have any suggestions for a good story line? Sad ones would be great, even a few comedy words would be fine. Thanks a lot for all your help:-)
- English-Ms. Sue - Ms. Sue, Monday, May 31, 2010 at 7:29pm
To get an exciting part in the story -- you could elaborate on the episode when the duckling discovered that the grandma wanted to fatten him up to eat him for dinner.
Another version of this story could be about a homely and insecure child who grows up to be beautiful and confident.
- English-Ms. Sue - Sara, Monday, May 31, 2010 at 7:40pm
Alright, I'll work on it and will hopefully be able to post it onto here tonight, thanks 4 ur help:-)
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