Posted by Sara on Monday, May 3, 2010 at 8:06pm.
I have to write a poem about my childhood and here it is.
was full of people
with tender hearts
who followed me
like my shadow
wherever I went;
Whether it be a long
walk or short; they'd
be with me.
In those days
life seemed to pass
slowly and calmly;
I had no complaints
I was being showered
with love every minute
(Now I have to start a sentence with Since then I have... I can't think of what to write...Any suggestions)
English - SraJMcGin, Monday, May 3, 2010 at 8:18pm
I have met people
I have been more places
I've had to rush (hurry)
I have had more r e sponsabilities
Get the idea?
Please check my work - Sara, Monday, May 3, 2010 at 8:31pm
I thought of this, how does it sound:
Since then I have
tried to keep up with my family
and not let them down
in anything I do
By controlling my ego, I have
put smiles on their faces and
have developed a more informal
relation with them
I have continued using
both my mind and heart to
make thoughtful decisions
No sad moment has passed by
with my self-esteem being quite.
Is this good? I really dont' like my sentence (relation with them) The word them doesn't seemt to fit int here. Is there any way I could change it?
English - Sara, Monday, May 3, 2010 at 9:17pm
The last stanza of this poem has to begin with ¡§All kinds of miracles¡¨
Is the stanza I¡¦ve written well?
Here it is:
All kinds of miracles:
But I would not exchange
Any of them for the
All the lovable moments I have spent
With each one of my family members
During my childhood.
(Is that good? Is there any other way I could make that sentence more imaginative)
Down below I have written what poet wrote, and his stanza seems to be imaginative unlike mine, which is why I am asking for suggestions. Thank you very much got all your helpƒº
A poet did this for his:
All kind of miracles:
But I would not trade
Any of them for the
Empty spaces, the
Snow blurred geography
Of my childhood.
English - Sara, Monday, May 3, 2010 at 9:19pm
I meant to say thank you very much for all your help. I wonder how got up there.
English - emilio, Monday, May 3, 2010 at 10:02pm
i think it is good the way it is
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