Ms. Sue here is the poem that I was working on yesterday. I added other things onto here; I am still working on my ending, but I need your help with one sentence.
The magic box
I will put in the box
Hugs and kisses from my family
The daylight brought from the sun and
My parent’s blessings
I will put in the box
The teardrop of my eye
The first smiles of my baby brothers
The classical music playing in my heart
I will put into the box
My cousin’s dimples
The cold breeze blowing in the air
And memories from the past
I will put in the box
the strongest force of love which I have gained and shared
the happiness brought out from the hearts and my mom’s lullaby sung to me as a baby
I will put in the box the passion, desire, and hope .............
the wonderful dreams experienced
the holy bible as a sign of god being with me and the honesty of the innocence
All your help wil be appreciated, thanks a lot:-)
This sentence is too long and awkward.
"the happiness brought out from the hearts and my mom’s lullaby sung to me as a baby"
Is this better:
I will put into the box
Every heart’s compassion for affection and the my mom's lullaby
Can you also help me with this sentence:
I will put in the box the passion, desire, and hope .............
And please tell me if everything else is okay. Thank you very much :-)
Those are both good (assuming you omit "the" in "and the my mom's").
Thank you, but is this sentence okay:
I will put in the box the passion, desire, and hope .............
I don't know how to end it.
I was thinking of something like this, but I don't know if it makes sense:
I will put in the box the mutual emotions of passion, desire, and hope?
I would just put "I will put in the box all passion, desire and hope."
Your poem is beautiful so far! It's great to see all the meaningful things you want to put into the magic box. Now, let's work on the sentence you need help with.
In order to come up with an impactful sentence for the ending, you can reflect on the themes and emotions you have already expressed in the earlier lines of the poem. Think about what message or feeling you want to leave the reader with.
Here's an exercise you can try:
1. Take a moment to think about the overall theme or message you want to convey in your poem. Is it about love, family, memories, or something else?
2. Next, brainstorm some ideas or phrases that capture that theme or message. For example, if your theme is love, you might think of words like "unconditional," "everlasting," or "boundless."
3. Now, try combining these ideas or phrases into a sentence that brings your poem to a meaningful close. Consider the rhythm and flow of the sentence, as well as the emotions it evokes. You can also use metaphors or symbolic language to enrich your message.
For example, if your theme is love, and you've mentioned your family's love and the force of love you've gained and shared, you could write something like: "I will put in the box the eternal embrace of love, weaving its tapestry through generations and hearts."
Remember to make it personal and meaningful to you. I hope this guidance helps you find the perfect sentence for the ending of your poem!