Posted by **christopher** on Thursday, March 25, 2010 at 10:53am.

The Rochester Institute of Technology in New York State chose 150 students born on June 12 1979. Each one received

a grant of $1,500 per year. These awards were given to select students to honor the school's 150th anniversary which was celebrated on June 12 1979.

my answer

The Rochester Institute of Technology in New York State chose 150 students born on June 12 1979. Each received a grant of $1,500 per year. These awards were given to the students to honor the school’s 150th anniversary.

Does that sound right?

- English -
**Writeacher**, Thursday, March 25, 2010 at 11:02am
I don't see any sentence combining here.

http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/combining_skills.htm

- English -
**christopher**, Thursday, March 25, 2010 at 11:23am
how about this for paralleism

The Rochester Institute of Technology in New York State chose 150 students born on June 12 1979. Each received a grant of $1,500 per year. These awards were given to select students to honor the school’s 150th anniversary.

- English -
**Writeacher**, Thursday, March 25, 2010 at 11:36am
need commas in correct places in the date

http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/commas.htm

See #10

The revision doesn't make the clear connection between the June 12th date and the school's anniversary date.

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