Wednesday
October 22, 2014

Homework Help: English

Posted by Sara on Monday, March 8, 2010 at 1:59pm.

Rewrite this fluently into 2 or 3 sentences. Don't use 'and' more than once and avoid using 'then'.

I awoke in the darkness. I was in great pain. I was tied up. I heard the roaring of water. I heard thunder. I also heard sailors shouting. The whole world seemed to turn upside down. The result was I was violently sick.

I wrote: I awoke in the darkness and found myself in great pain. I was tied up and could hear the roaring of water, thunder, and I could also hear sailors shouting. The whole world seemed to be turning upside down; the result was I was violently sick.

Please tell me if this is goos, thanks

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