Posted by Franco on .
Can you check these sentences for me, please? Thank you very much in advance.
1) Beowulf and the Dragon wrestle amid sheets of fire. As the flames billow, Beowulf's companions rush away in terror.
2) Only one, Wiglaf, feels enough loyalty to come to the aid of his king.
3) Wiglaf, Beowulf's servant, urges him to bear these things in mind.First, he reminds him of saying long ago in his youth that he would never give up fighting ("he would never allow his glory to abate").
4)Then he spurs him to defend his life with all his strength. In his turn, Wiglaf swears he would rather die than return home without having helped his bold leader.
5) Wiglaf addresses him as bold-tempered chieftain, famed for his deeds (OR: Wiglaf refers to him as a bold and brave chieftain, renowned/famous for his deeds)
6) After uttering these words, the dragon emerges from (whrathfully?) the earth again and attacks Beowulf a second time. The dragon is described as a worm, a terrible visitant who is trying to find his foes in a surge of flame. (" He sought out his foes in a surge of flames the hated men")
#3 leave out "long ago". "in his youth " is sufficient.
#5. The first sentence is fine.
#6. Put "emerges wrathfully from the earth and attacks Beowulf a second time."
"a second time" and "again" are redundant.
The rest of it is fine! You are improving. Just remember fewer words, greater clarity.