Rah! Rah! Bah!

Bah humbug! How excited I was, it was time for me and my class to go to the assembly. The announcements told all the home economic classes to come down. Our teacher led the way and I slowly wandered off the hallway with some of my friends. I tried to walk fast and pass them all. I had actually promised my B.F that I’d wait for her alone. I was unluckily unable to wait for her because there were teachers around me everywhere. They were telling everyone to go and sit down. So I just decided to go and search for a spot in the gym for me and my B.F. I didn’t want to get in trouble by any teachers, so I unfortunately had to break my promise with my friend.

I wanted to sit in a spot in where I could be seen by my friend in a flash. I decided to sit by my other friends and wait for her arrival. We were sitting in a pretty, good, high spot, the whole view was very clear. Finally, she made her entrance and I could tell that she was trying to look for me by her facial expressions. I tried to stand up and holler her name, but it was too late, she had already run back outside to go and look for me. I was all frustrated. I prayed for her to not become mad at me for not waiting for her. After a few moments, she finally came back and saw me.

She didn’t like the seating arrangement I had made, she wanted to sit in a better spot, away from my other friends. I listened to her, and picked another spot to sit in. She didn’t find that spot comfortable either and told me to go to the other side to search for a better one. Everyone was sitting down, the assembly was almost about to start. I told her to forget about it, and we remained sitting.

Thus, as the assembly started, my ears and eyes were pointing towards the stage; all my focus was headed for the speaker. As I got to know that the assembly was about the B.C Lions, I was kind of down in the dumps. I didn’t actually know what the assembly would be about. I had heard that it was going to be something related with hockey. So I thought that maybe they would show us clips about Ice Hockey for Canada; something related with the Olympic Games on the big Screen in our gym. After seeing the B.C Lions on stage, I was depressed. Generally I really dislike sports, I find them really boring. I know that sports are good for exercise, but everyone should do their daily exercise artificially.

So I sat there, trying to listen to them as much as I could, but really the B.C lions had come to cheer on all the athletic players, to give them support, and advice; I wasn’t one of them. Slowly, slowly I just withered away in my imagination. Even though, I should have been paying attention, I couldn’t control myself. I started daydreaming about going home and just imagining about the weekend to come.

My friend woke me up a couple of times, and I was back in reality. The B.C lions were calling up people on stage to play opposing games. They played and had fun, but I was deadly fed up. I tried to wither away this time, but I couldn’t. I spaced out a couple of times. I also saw some people getting called onto the stage to dance. They all danced for two minutes, and they all danced finely. I totally spaced out after that. I was unable to remember anything. I guess that I have a wild mind.

Just at the end, the principal made an announcement, I didn’t hear it clearly the first time, but I heard it the second time. He decided to extend our lunch hour. Everyone was so happy, and so was I. This was the only assembly that I didn’t pay attention to. I usually pay attention to assemblies that are not related with Sports. I like exercising, but I just don’t like to play or watch sports. This was my day at the assembly.

my ending i don't like. anyway i could change that. please revise this. does my title go well wih my paragraph.

Rah! Rah! Bah!

Bah (COMMA) humbug! How excited I was, (SEMICOLON OR COMMA BECAUSE) it was time for me and (CAN DELETE "ME AND") my class to go to the assembly. The announcements told all the home economic classes to come down. Our teacher led the way (COMMA) and I slowly wandered off ("DOWN"?) the hallway with some of my friends. I tried to walk fast and pass them all. I had actually promised my B.F (WHAT IS "B.F? DON'T USE ACRONYMS UNLESS THEY ARE EXPLAINED.) that I’d wait for her alone. I was unluckily unable to wait for her (COMMA) because there were teachers around me everywhere. They were telling everyone to go and (DELETE "GO AND.") sit down. So I just decided to go (DELETE "GO AND.") and search for a spot in the gym for me and my B.F. (MENTION YOURSELF LAST.) I didn’t want to get in trouble by any teachers, so I unfortunately had to break my promise with my friend.

I wanted to sit in a spot in (DELETE "IN.") where I could be seen by my friend in a flash. I decided to sit by my other friends and wait for her arrival. We were sitting in a pretty, (NO COMMA) good, high spot, (SEMICOLON) the whole view was very clear. Finally, she made her entrance (COMMA) and I could tell that she was trying to look for me by her facial expressions. I tried to stand up and holler her name, but it was too late, she had already run back outside to go and (DELETE "GO AND.") look for me. I was all (DELETE "ALL") frustrated. I prayed for her to not become ("BE") mad at me for not waiting for her. After a few moments, she finally came back and saw me.

She didn’t like the seating arrangement I had made, (SEMICOLON OF NEW SENTENCE.) she wanted to sit in a better spot, away from my other friends. I listened to her, (NO COMMA) and picked another spot to sit in. (CAN DELETE "TO SIT IN.") She didn’t find that spot comfortable either and told me to go to the other side to search for a better one. Everyone was sitting down, (SEMICOLON) the assembly was almost about to start. I told her to forget about it, and we remained sitting.

Thus, as the assembly started, my ears and eyes were pointing towards the stage; all my focus was headed for the speaker. (AWKWARD. DO YOUR EARS POINT FORWARD?) As I got to know that the assembly was about the B.C ("B.C"?) Lions, I was kind of (DELETE "KIND OF") down in the dumps. I didn’t actually know what the assembly would be about. I had heard that it was going to be something related with hockey. So I thought that maybe they would show us clips about Ice Hockey (NO CAPS) for Canada; something related with the Olympic Games on the big Screen in our gym. After seeing the B.C Lions on stage, I was depressed. Generally I really dislike sports, (SEMICOLON) I find them really boring. I know that sports are good for exercise, but everyone should do their daily exercise artificially. ("ARTIFICIALLY?"

So I sat there, trying to listen to them as much as I could, but really the B.C lions had come to cheer on all the athletic players, to give them support, and advice; I wasn’t one of them. (SPLIT INTO 2 OR MORE SENTENCES.) Slowly, slowly I just withered away in my imagination. Even though, I should have been paying attention, I couldn’t control myself. I started daydreaming about going home and just imagining about the weekend to come.

My friend woke me up a couple of times, and I was back in reality. The B.C lions were calling up people on stage to play opposing (UNCLEAR) games. They played and had fun, but I was deadly fed up. I tried to wither away this time, but I couldn’t. I spaced out a couple of times. I also saw some people getting called onto the stage to dance. They all danced for two minutes, and they all danced finely. I totally spaced out after that. I was unable to remember anything. I guess that I have a wild mind.

Just at the end, the principal made an announcement, I didn’t hear it clearly the first time, but I heard it the second time. (2 SENTENCES) He decided to extend our lunch hour. Everyone was so happy, and so was I. This was the only assembly that I didn’t pay attention to. I usually pay attention to assemblies that are not related with Sports (NO CAPS). I like exercising, but I just don’t like to play or watch sports. This was my day at the assembly.

THE TITLE GOES WELL WITH THE ESSAY, WHICH IS SEVERAL PARAGRAPHS.

You need to review your use of commas and semicolons.

http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/607/04/
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/607/01/

When mentioning members of a group, it is best to mention yourself last.

Delete "go and." It detracts from your meaning.

You also use adverbs to modify your verbs, which add very little to the meaning.

In the future, if nobody is available to proofread your work, you can do this yourself. After writing your material, put it aside for a day — at least several hours. (This breaks mental sets you might have that keep you from noticing problems.) Then read it aloud as if you were reading someone else's work. (Reading aloud slows down your reading, so you are less likely to skip over problems.)

If your reading goes smoothly, that is fine. However, wherever you "stumble" in your reading, other persons are likely to have a problem in reading your material. Those "stumbles" indicate areas that need revising.

Another option, if it is available on your computer, is to have the computer read it to you.

Once you have made your revisions, repeat the process above. Good papers often require many drafts.

I hope this helps.

Based on your request, it seems that you would like help revising the ending of your paragraph and determining if your title matches the content of the paragraph. To revise the ending, you can consider ending on a more positive note or summarizing your overall experience at the assembly. As for the title, it would be helpful for me to know what your current title is in order to provide feedback on its relevance to the paragraph content. Could you please provide me with your current title?