Hazard Identification: A lot of people (COMMA) including but not limited to those that ("WHO" THEY ARE PEOPLE.) are poor or undereducated (COMMA) may not be able to follow the guidelines that are required for the Malathion application process. I do not thing (SP) that all the members of our community will follow through with the safety measures. The residue from the Malathion will be on everything on the outside. This would include but not limited to our patio furniture, our outside pets houses and their food, our own personal gardens and the crops that our food comes from. (DON'T END WITH PREPOSITION.) The residents that ("WHO") are uninformed may be outside during the spraying, or they may handle the food outside that has the residue on it without going through the proper washing and (DELETE "AND.") with the proper detergent. The proper safety measures would need to be taken into consideration to protect themselves (COMMA) and I would not think all the people of Genericville would know how to do this. If all these precautions are not followed thoroughly (COMMA) we may have more of a problem.
The Malathion can be breathed, swallowed and actually taken in through the skin and the eyes if the safety measures are not taken seriously. The effects can hinder breathing and cause neurological problems.
The use of this insecticide may actually kill the natural predators that hunt mosquitoes and may actually increase the spread of the West Nile Virus. This insecticide can effect the wildlife that lives near in the wetland. Fish, turtles, the birds, and other predators of the mosquitoes could end up dying.
Dose Response: Many people a lot of times will ignore the big risks, but get really upset about a minor risk. The life of a smoker tends to be around eight years less than those that don’t smoke, but yet many get upset from a million in one chance of getting cancer from an insecticide. The neurological effects from the Malathion in a low dose could include but not limited to, excessive salivation, vomiting, diarrhea, headaches, confusion, and dizziness. The major effects from high doses maybe from being outside during spraying may include convulsions, tremors, breathing problems that could actually lead to death.
The Malathion may also affect our body’s natural response with estrogen, androgen and thyroid. It can cause the body’s function to absorb
these hormones to go down. And this would also effect the wildlife as well, all the way to their offspring.
Exposure: It is big news nowadays about the threats of our health. Especially if it is from a toxic chemical. Really more so if that chemical is in the environment. These stories on the news tend to be less than factual at times. If the story were completely true, there would be humans everywhere that were dying. Actually the human race is a little better than it has been any other time in history and the life expectancy is growing rather than declining. The news stories are an important role to regulating the government to protect the people as much as they can from the technical and industrial dangers. There is an importance to have an understanding of the size and nature of risks before choosing what action we are going to take and what we may have to choose to avoid against risks.
(EITHER INDENT OR SKIP LINE BETWEEN PARAGRAPHS.)
Risk Characterization: This would indicate the Mexican-American’s (NOT POSSESSIVE.) that ("WHO") work in our fields. (SENTENCE UNCLEAR. COMBINE WITH FOLLOWING SENTENCE.) They are more at risk for insecticide exposure than others are. You find many of Mexican-Americans working in our fields and for other people and businesses. As stated in the New York Times, a new federal review of the health effects of Malathion, the insecticide sprayed around New York City in 1999 to kill disease-carrying mosquitoes, has found suggestive evidence that high doses of the chemical may cause cancer in laboratory animals, but no evidence that it poses a threat to people when used properly. (AWKWARD SENTENCE. MAKE INTO TWO.) (New York Times 2000) The EPA (Environmental Protection Agency) in over a thousand pages of analysis of this particular insecticide and was also posted on their web site it showed no other evidence to tighten the restrictions of Malathion which is used in fields, mosquito control and backyard products. (AWKWARD SENTENCE.) This insecticide is only one of 43 that is approved for use in the U.S. The chemicals in Malathion are related to nerve gas and kill the insects by damaging their nervous system. Like stated before, in high doses Malathion has been known to cause neurological problems in humans. Also in the EPA’s report it showed which people may be at more of health risks. A couple examples would be a toddler playing in the backyard that was just recently sprayed, or fruit picked off of the trees and eaten without being properly washed first.
I would not want to expose our citizens of Genericville to these conditions, particularly our children. And I would have to ask, who would?
You need to review comma usage:
You also have problems with sentence structure. After following the suggestions made, proofread your paper again.
If nobody is available to proofread your work, you can do this yourself. After writing your material, put it aside for a day — at least several hours. (This breaks mental sets you might have that keep you from noticing problems.) Then read it aloud as if you were reading someone else's work. (Reading aloud slows down your reading, so you are less likely to skip over problems.)
If your reading goes smoothly, that is fine. However, wherever you "stumble" in your reading, other persons are likely to have a problem in reading your material. Those "stumbles" indicate areas that need revising.
Another option, if it is available on your computer, is to have the computer read it to you.
Once you have made your revisions, repeat the process above. Good papers often require many drafts.