posted by Franco on .
Thank you for your help.
Can you help me find the mistakes in this paragraph please?
1) Last week we tried to go to the stadium, but during the trip we ran into very strange problems
2) First of all, a tyre burst, so we stopped the car, and we tried to change the wheel with a jack. 40 minutes after (?) we got over (?)the damage, and we started the trip again.
3) One hour later the engine started to make strange sounds and suspected grey smoke.(?)
Then, after 5-6 kilometers, the brakes failed, and the engine passed away(broke down) (??) with a long and low whistle: we were out of oil.
4)Fortunately, we were able to head for a refilling station near the street and we had to pay a truck to move the failed (?) car. Of course. We didn’t get round to going to the stadium (?)
1) This sentence is OK.
2) First of all, a tire burst; so we stopped the car and tried to change the wheel with a jack. Forty minutes later, we repaired the damage and started the trip again.
Changes: USA spelling of the word tire (type in England and some of the Commonwealth). Better punctuation.
Eliminating the second 'we' when the subject of clauses remains the same.
3) One hour later, the engine started to make strange sounds and emitted (or produced) grey smoke. Then, after 5-6 kilometers, the brakes failed and the engine died with a long and low whistle. We were out of oil.
4) Fortunately, we were able to walk to a filling station near the street where the car broke down, but we had to pay for a truck to move the undriveable car. Of course we never did make it to the stadium that day.
I have made a number of style changes here. The word "fortunately" does not apply to both parts of the sentence, so I used "but" as the conjunction