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Posted by on Wednesday, January 20, 2010 at 3:18pm.

Mrs Sue,

I have to write perssavie essay on fear and destruction in which some common street drug has created among gang violence , schools , families, workforce and institutions with in our community .

I am having a hard time developing a thesis statement and a topic for this type of essay.

The thesis statement that I submitted to my instructor is : The illegal use of drugs has created destruction among individuals . The topic I decided on is " Fear and Destruction " .

My instructor said I need to develop a different thesis and topic.

Can you please help me with this ?
Thank you so much .

  • English - , Wednesday, January 20, 2010 at 3:34pm

    The problem with your thesis statement is that it just states facts. You need to add YOU into this statement -- what YOU think about your topic.

    http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/thesistatement.html
    Read through all the examples here -- and their corrections. Then rewrite your thesis statement.

    Repost when you're ready.

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