Posted by anu on Thursday, January 14, 2010 at 8:39am.
can you proof read for me.
In second part of the novel is more interesting from the first part. Alex was bored so Lao Xu told him the story about Zhou and Zhu Ge-Laing. It was very interesting story about Chinese history. Alex is very good to learn things that he wants to learn. He had learn lots of word in Chinese and he can understand little bit of Chinese. I think he also catch up things very fast like my sister. Eddie and Alex dad Ted was very busy in this part because Gorbachev is coming to Beijing. In three or four pages, they were busy working. That was a little boring part but suddenly the story got more interesting because Lao Xu was talking on the phone and everyone was worried about what happened while he was talking. Lao Xu was afraid because all the students were demanding their demands. Government will get harsh because Gorbachev is coming to Beijing. I am feeling worried about Lao Xu because he is so afraid of the government reaction about student demands. Next day, Alex went to Tian An Men Square. In Tian An Men Square there are two million students. The students were demanding, yelling and all of them were very loud for their demands. Alex went to interview some students. I thought that he is going to in a danger or in a trouble. He met a student who can speak in English and he interviewed him. There was a big crowd so Alex was feeling uncomfortable and he said that to meet him again. He went to university to find the same student he met at Tian An Men Square. If I was in his place I would not try to find him again. Student were on hunger strike because government didn't agreed demands. Every body were laid on the floor and getting weak . I think it was horrible maybe government agree their demands. Eddie and Ted can't send any information to Canada because there is material law . Even Lao Xu cant not help them because of the law but he said to them to help them secretly. They said no to him because they do not want him in trouble and they think he is government side. I wonder what will be in next part.
english - SraJMcGin, Thursday, January 14, 2010 at 9:00am
The second part....(drop the word "In")
more interesting than...
It was a very interesting story
Alex is very good at learning things
He had learned.... words...a little bit
He also catches things...
Eddie"s and Alex's Dad Ted
For three or four pages
That was a little boring but
The government will
of the government's reaction
The next day, ...
very loud with their demands
*(Why did you suddenly switch to "there ARE two million students" after you have told the rest of this in the past tense?
he was going to be in danger or in trouble.
a student who could speak English
and he said to meet him again.
He went to the university
If I were in his place
The students were (or The student was)
the government didn't agree to the demands.
Everybody was laid
horible, maybe the government would agree to their demands
Eddie and Ted couldn't send...there is or there was a material law.
Even Lao Xu couldn't (could not) help them...
but he said he would help them secretly.
they did not want him in trouble....he is on the government's side.
in the next part.
Decide first of all if you want to tell this in the "historical" present or the past and stay there.
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