Posted by mysterychicken on .
This is from yesterday's post---
cold, bare rooms-a
The nouns shape the mood of the poem because they describe all the things that can be forgotten about your past. For example, the climate of your birthplace and the voices of your dead relatives.
The verbs shape the mood of the poem because they show the actions you can do to forget your past. For example, you can choke out the voices of your dead relatives and spurn the clothes you were born to wear.
The adjectives describe the mood of the poem and emphasize how dangerous forgetfulness is. They also the show the consequences of it.
Is this alright?
These aren't quite right:
use weapons-v ["use" is the verb; "weapons" is a noun, object of the verb]
embarrasing fervor-a ["embarrassing" is an adjective (watch the spelling), but "fervor" is a noun]
cold, bare rooms-a ["cold" and "bare" are adjectives, but "rooms" ... ??]
loneliness-a [noun -- anything with -ness as a suffix is a noun]
Your write-up generally sounds OK. That second sentence isn't a complete sentence, though. How can you make it so?
Get rid of all forms of "you" -- surely, you don't mean me or anyone else who reads what you've written!!
PS -- "all right" = 2 words, not 1
Thank you for the help writeacher. I made all the neccesary changes =)
You're very welcome. =)