Your question is ok, but your thesis is hardly about the causes of the secession.
Ok so in my thesis I should also include sucession somehow. I think thought the election of 1860 had a major effect in leading up to the end of slavery.
Should I start off like this:
Thousands of people in the major war of history which is the Civil War had died due to slavery.
and my thesis:
Although the civil war was mostly based on slavery, there were more negative effects than positive effects which prove how slavery will take a long time to end due to the southern states desiring slavery to boost their economy.
The Civil War was not primarily about slavery. The primary cause of the war was an argument about States Rights. Were the priorities of the states more important than the priorities of the nation? The Southern States believed that they had the right to determine their own priorities and this led to secession.
Ok, here is my intro.
Thousands of people in the major war of history which is the Civil War had died due to states rights.
Southern States believed that they had the right to determine their own priorities and this led to secession. They
didnít want to be controlled or ruled by the Northerners who also opposed slavery. A main part of Southernís
economy was based on slavery, agricultural and labor. Therefore, they felt the Northerners were dictators and
taking away their rights. As a result, Abraham Lincoln believed the priorities of the states were less important
than the priorities of the nation. His point of view was unity is the best way to rule a nation so it can survive but there were many differences between the North and the South. Many compromises would have to be made in order to satisfy both the North and South but sooner or later the nation wonít be able to handle it and a crisis will begin and the whole nation will corrupt. Although there were more negative effects than positive effects which prove how slavery will take a long time to end due to the southern states desiring slavery to boost their economy which would lead to secession.
I want to add more but how does this sound? Should i fix anything about it?
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