posted by Sam on .
I need my intro and body paragraph proofread please,for the body paragraph i am supposed to talk about arguments made by the other side and trash it.
Imperialism can benefit one’s country. Empires can be built by securing resources; however, the building of empires has essentially led to many wars throughout history. Some believe that empires are needed and inevitable. These people would be considered ultra-nationalist. Others believe that Empires are dangerous and cause many unnecessary wars. These people are deemed internationalist as they are trying to promote global peace. Clearly, the ultra-nationalism of building an empire is wrong and should be avoided.
Various people believe that the building of an empire provides secure natural resources due to taking over territories owned by other countries. This ultra-nationalism can actually create a war due to an attempt of trying to take over another country, meaning that you lose resources in fighting a war. An example of how building an empire can lead to a war is Germany's attempt on taking over Europe. Nazi Germany started to build an empire in an attempt to be a world power. After Germany invaded Poland, both France and Britain declared war on Germany. Many lives were taken and resources were depleted on both sides of the war.
Frankly, I don't see a thesis here, so evaluating any paragraph is meaningless. What are you trying to use as a thesis?
i am trying to say that building empires are wrong
I see that you've chosen to ignore my previous advice about omitting anything positive about empires from your introduction.
There is a lot of controversy and intrigue surrounding the invention of the telephone. There have been court cases, books, and articles generated about the subject. Of course, Alexander Graham Bell is the father of the telephone. After all it was his design that was first patented, however, he was not the first inventor to come up with the idea of a telephone.
Antonio Meucci, an Italian immigrant, began developing the design of