posted by jake on .
i need the intro paragrpah below proofread, i am trying to prove that building empires is ultrantionalist and that it is wrong:
Imperialism can benefit one’s country. Empires can be built by securing resources; however, the building of empires has essential led to many wars throughout history. Some believe that empires are needed and inevitable. These people would be considered ultranationalist. Others believe that Empires are dangerous and are the cause of many unnecessary wars. These people are internationalist as they are trying to promote global peace. Clearly, the ultranationalism of building an empire is wrong and should be avoided.
Since this is an introductory paragraph, I assume your thesis is your last sentence.
As I responded below, you shouldn't mention any postives of empires, certainly not in your introductory paragraph.
In addition, your introductory paragraph should be the last part of your paper to write. Write the body parts first -- then come back and introduce your paper in your introduction.