Posted by Jon on Thursday, December 17, 2009 at 12:23pm.
Take the dialogue out of the paragraph and indent. Also I would suggest putting a period after Cooper. and a question mark after School.
Then continue the description.
So would it look like this
As she boarded the shuttle, she noticed two girls who looked about her age. She wondered if they went to her school, so she got up from her seat to find out.
“Hey girls my name is Monique Cooper. Do you happen to go to West Valley High School?”
Poor Monique had no idea, that not only did they go to her school, but they also had a reputation for being bullies. These girls were vicious, sneaky and manipulative.
yes.
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