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i need he script below edited please

Scene: Jacob and Mary arrive at Jerome’s House and are about to return the engagement ring.
Setting-The house shows age, broken windows on both sides of the house and a large porch.

Jacob: All right Mary, were here.
Mary: (Scared face) Knock the door for me please.
Jacob: You came all the way here and you’re too scared to knock the door.
Mary: Please…..
(Jacob pauses, and then knocks at the door)
Jacob: (Shouts) Come out Mackenzie! Your girl has something for you.
Mary: (Annoyed face) Jacob! Not so loud.
Jacob: (Grins) I can’t wait to see his face when you tell him the bad news.
(The door bursts open)
Jerome: (Surprised Face) Is that you Jacob?
Jacob: The one and only.
Jerome: (Mockingly) Yeah, the one and only who would buy a suite like that.
(Jacob looks at his clothes)
Jacob: (Grins) You’re the one and only who is going to get your cheap wedding ring back.
Jerome: (Surprised face) Is this true Mary?
Mary; (Looks down) I am afraid so.
Jerome: (Angry face) How could you Mary?
Jacob: (Grins) How could you try to marry my Mary?
Jerome: This is all you’re doing Jacob, isn’t it; you and your pathetic father can’t stop making trouble for my family
Jacob: (Angry face) My father is not pathetic! He is a war hero!
Jerome: (Grins) A war hero that pushes a baby carriage to pay off a debt.
(Jacob punches Jerome in the face)
Jacob: That’s what you get for making fun of my father.
Jerome: (Angry face) Mary, how could you allow him to do this to me.
Mary: He’s a man that just came from Toronto he can do what ever he wants.
Jerome: Good, I am a man of this city and I have been doing things to your sister.
Mary: (Pained) What!
Jerome: You heard me; Dot got those wounds from me.
Mary: She told me she got them from the foster care lady.
Jerome: I told her to say that, every time you are out working for Mrs. Dawe I pick her up from the foster home and beat her to clean the house.
(Mary takes out a gun from her clothes and shoots Jerome in the head)
Jacob: Mary!
(Slight pause)
Mary: That’s what you get for abusing my sister Jerome.
Jacob: Where did you get the gun from Mary!?
Mary: Stole one from Mrs. Dawe’s house.
(Marry takes a ring from her left pocket and throws it on Jerome’s lifeless body)

Jacob: Let’s go get Dot and catch the fastest train out of this crazy town.

  • English - ,

    Knock the door = Knock at the door (2 lines)

    buy a suite = buy a suit

    how could you allow him to do this to me. = isn't this a question?

    Toronto he can do Toronto; he can do (run-on sentence)

    What! or What?

    foster care lady or foster-care lady

    say that, every time = say that; every time (run-on sentence)

    my sister Jerome. = my sister, Jerome. This is direct address; you are speaking to Jerome. Jerome is NOT the name of the sister!

    gun from Mary! = gun from, Mary (same thing - direct address = speaking TO Mary)


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