Posted by mysterychicken on Monday, December 14, 2009 at 2:31pm.
When you're trying to sell something (or someone) use only positive words, not negative words. For instance, I was turned off by your first sentence, "you won't regret it."
Next, biographies do not sell candidates to voters. Give the voters reasons to elect him. You made a stab at it in the end but it's much to general.
What wars will be stopped? What specific progress will be made. Who will have more rights? What rights? Be specific.
I don't care if he is "kind." Hitler was supposedly "kind" to his dog!
And what do this mean? ". . . the peoples’ ideas will not be overseen with Mr. Lincoln as our president, . . ."
The last sentence means that he will consider all ideas that the people of the US give to him, and he won't ignore any complaints. how can i write that in a better way?
Thanks
-MC
Hmmmm. My ancestors, in Texas, would probably have voted Lincoln. Lincoln was in a moderate camp which advocated a Constitutional Amendment to guarantee the South could keep slavery, and that Congress should pass on law changing that. This is about all the South wanted, in fact. You should be putting that forward in your Lincoln pitch.
However, many, many Texans did not trust the Republican Party then, as it was also the party of the abolitionists.
http://www.tulane.edu/~latner/Background/BackgroundElection.html
I think you mean the peoples' ideas will not be overlooked by Lincoln.
A better way of saying that might be: Lincoln will seriously consider everyone's ideas.
OK, thank you
-MC
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