Homework Help: financial analysis

Posted by Julie on Friday, December 11, 2009 at 10:24am.

Can someone help me understand how to remove the 'passive voice' from the following Conclusion?
Included in the preceding paper is a comprehensive discussion on the takeover target of Wal-mart. The identification of any lenders that Wal-mart uses and the role each plays in the organization are included. The investment bank used to issue stock and its’ role in the organization is identified. Also included is a discussion of which government entities are responsible for regulating the securities that Wal-mart uses and the role that these entities play for investors is examined. Wal-mart is deemed to be a very strong takeover target.

financial analysis - Ms. Sue, Friday, December 11, 2009 at 1:02pm
"The identification of any lenders that Wal-mart uses and the role each plays in the organization are included."

The passive verb above is "are included." One way to change this sentence:

It identifies any lenders that Wal-mart uses and the role each plays.

"The investment bank used to issue stock and its’ role in the organization is identified."

The passive voice verb above is "is identified."

" Also included is a discussion of which government entities are responsible for regulating the securities that Wal-mart uses and the role that these entities play for investors is examined."

The passive voice verb is "is examined."

If you post your corrections of these sentences, we'll be glad to comment on them.
financial analysis - Julie, Saturday, December 12, 2009 at 12:58pm
In the preceding paper, Team B included a comprehensive discussion on the takeover target of Wal-mart. The Team identified of any lenders that Wal-mart uses and the role each plays in the organization. The Team also named the investment bank used by Wal-mart to issue stock and identified the role the bank plays in the organization. Team B also included a discussion of which government entities are responsible for regulating the securities that Wal-mart uses and examined the role that these entities play for investors. Wal-mart is a very strong takeover target for the organization that Team B represents.

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